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Getting to grips with the to-do list

I was so busy training last week that I ended up with only Wednesday evening to catch up with admin and prepare for two days of delivery and client and supplier meetings. I jotted down everything that needed to be done and the list had 16 items on it. It has to be said that there were 3 items on that list that didn't HAVE to be done immediately but everything else was critical for the next two days.

Now I know that some people are completely overwhelmed by having a to-do list like that. However I view it very differently. It's a bit like being in a sweetie shop with jars and jars of different sweets. There is so much choice. Today I can have liquorice allsorts and tomorrow butter toffees. Having a long list to me is great as it gives me a huge choice over what I do and the order that I do it in. I had about 5 hours to get most of it done and it didn't really matter in what order it was done. So as my feeling changed minute by minute I was able to select things from the list that I felt like doing. It was also good because I could make a start on one thing - printing out materials for example, and then go on to something else whilst that was in progress, therefore working on two things at once.

The trick is to look at things differently, in a positive light, rather than being weighed down by negative perceptions. How could you look at your to do list differently? How will that help you be more successful?

When would you give up?

I had an interesting day in Thursday. I flew to Bristol to get to a meeting in Devon. After two aborted landings in fog, we got re-routed and I ended up in Birmingham. We sat on the tarmac for ages before the captain made a decision to fly us back to Bristol. I worked out that by the time we had got clearance and actually got back it would too late for me to make it by bus and train to my meeting. I therefore asked to get off the plane. The EasyJet staff were quite shocked by this. Clearly its an irregular request and they didn't really have a procedure. However once I had said I wanted to get off so did 5 other people.

So I got off and hired a car to drive to Devon. Then the M5 was closed. Although I avoided this, thanks to information from my world class PA, the A roads around the diversion were still very congested. I did finally reach my destination about 2 hours late and was able to have my meeting.

However a lot of other people would have given up. How much determination do you have to keep going when the going gets tough? What would it actually take to make you give up? Do you give up too easily? Do you keep going when its hopeless?

Sometimes you have to make apparently foolish decisions in the face of difficult circumstances. But at least you have done something to keep moving forwards. The most frustrating time for me on Thursday was sitting on the tarmac. If you are not moving do something, anything to change the situation..

What's your attitude?

This week I'm zooming around the country picking up some training for some of the trainers in our network who are unable to deliver this week. I just arrived south of Birmingham tonight at about 8.30pm after a 4 hour drive from Cumbria. The hotel receptionist was sympathetic to my very hectic schedule. I told her about the reasons for my trip and then she said, what, to me, seemed a very odd thing. She said "So you got the short straw then, driving down to deliver the training at really short notice". I was stunned by that, as that attitude had never occurred to me, nothing could be further from my mind. I'm really pleased to be able to help out colleagues who are in a fix. I'm happy to have work as I happen to have the time available. I'm interested to meet some different clients and people from different organisations. I'm putting on hold the things that I would be doing because its more important to keep the programmes going and to help out colleagues who need it. There is not a bone in my body that feels put upon, short changed or unhappy to be driving down to deliver these programmes. As I said it had never occurred to me. So what that said to me was that my attitude was a long way from what other people's might have been in that situation. I had a much more positive attitude to the situation than the receptionist was expecting. Now that was a surprise to me because I sometimes potter around in my own little world without really checking what is going on outside. So when you are suddenly brought up against the world outside yourself it can be a surprise. And you don't actually know about that unless you ask or you get some sort of feedback like that. What's your attitude and how does that compare to what people are expecting of you? What will you do with the feedback that you have?

Unfortunate web addresses

I was in Manchester earlier in the week.  As I was waiting for a bus, a tipper truck went past with a website dispalyed on the side

www.jgfutilities.com

What did you see in the web address?  Now I read that as JG Futilities and it really made me smile.  This was despite the fact that there was a huge logo next to it that dispalyed the name clearly. The company is actually called JGF Utilities.  Its interesting what made the larger impression on me.

It underlines that image is in the eye of the beholder.  The have probably never throught that their web address might be seen that way. If they had they would have registered jgf-utilities.com instead.

If you want to create a particular image, maybe professional, creative, hard working, effective you probably have ideas about what you would do to achieve that. So its great to go ahead and take action.  But then you need to monitor what impression you are creating.  You need to ask people how they see you.  Ask all sorts of different people to give a balanced view. Friends, colleagues, customers, managers, your staff, will all have different views.  That will give you good feedback and then you can make the changes that you want and create the impression or image that you want.

Have you noticed any other unfortunate web addresses that gave the wrong impression?  What impressions are you creating now?  What do you want people to think?

Being in the zone

I've just spent three days training three differnt courses with three different clients in three different cities.  Truly variety is the spice of life!  However it is not without its challenges such as the logistics of packing, booking accommodation and travel (thanks Sylvia!), remembering that if its Wednesday it must be Springboard not Time Management etc etc.  Its sometimes a challenge as so much of what I do overlaps between courses, Its a bit like pick and mix - a bit of this, a dash of that, a pinch of this and it all adds up to an inspiring and action packed whole.

Well its also pretty tiring as well. You need to give 100% to every group, to every client.  Then get in the car, drive for 2 or 3 hours, check email, prepare for tomorrow, catch up with admin and stay in touch with other clients, oh yes and eat and sleep as well somewhere along the way.

However none of that really matters cos when I'm doing this sort of work I'm in the zone.  Thats the place where everything sort of flows easily, nothing is too much effort.  I'm getting lots of positive energy coming back from the people I'm working with and I'm really enjoying what I'm doing.  It all hangs together well and life sometimes can feel a bit charmed.  When you are in the zone you know that everything is really going well and you are doing the right thing, what you were put here to do. That's how you make choices about what's important to you.

Have you been in the zone recently?  What are the things that help you feel like that?  When can you do that again?

The magic bus

I've sold my old car and today took it off to the garage for a service and MoT.  This left me with no transport to get home.  After getting a lift into town I managed to get a bus that would stop down in the village.  I can't remember the last time that I got the bus in this direction.  I'm usually going in the opposite direction, towards Newcastle.

My journey gave me a completely different view of the town and the countryside. I was able to see into people's gardens that I couldn't see from the car. I love to see gardens, its a vicarious interest as I only have grass and then fields with sheep. I saw how the patterns of fields, trees and grand buildings fit together in the hinterland of the town. I could also see how the River Irthing, running through its deep valley below Hadrian's Wall, has probably been scouring this out for millennia. I have never had this perspective on the river before.  Even walking on the other side of the valley the vista is different, looking from the steeper side of the valley.

Its remarkable how putting yourself in a different place can give you a different outlook. This can enhance our experience of life. Its also very easy to do. Take a different bus home.  Drive a different unfamilair route to a familiar destination.  Sit in a different chair, at a different table, stand at a different place at the bar.  Move your furniture around.  Go earlier, go later, on a different day.  Walk if you usually cycle.  Cycle if you usually walk.  The same route will then appear very different. I had a completely different picture of the world when I spent 8 weeks on crutches.

What can you do today to give yourself a different perspective?  What different route can you take?  How can you get a different view?  How will this new perspective now affect your actions?  In my case after I got off the bus I was thirsty for more new perspective and walked up the hill the long way, which I haven't done for over a year.

Getting far enough away

I had a complete day off yesterday.  Well I thought that it was a day off.  I've started reading through some family archives.  I've got around 200 letters between my uncle and family members written between 1944 and 1947, together with lots of other info like his posting notices.  He was in the Royal Naval Air Squadron.  I've been meaning to do this for ages, I started cataloguing it all a while ago and haven't got round to reading it until now.

Now from this distance I can see how fascinating this story is. I was completely absorbed in the unfolding dramas. There were lots of letters from girls, all asking if they were the only one he was writing to.  There was the story of my Granddad's fight to get a job after he couldn't get his job reserved.  There are letters that have had bits removed by the censors.  The story of my uncle's close shave on a sortie in Ceylon. There are also letters where people are referring to what is actually going on in the war.  "What did you think of the landings?"  "Did you hear Churchill's speech?"

This really brings to life an uncle that I never knew and I can now see that, in fact, he was a lot like me.  I have always wondered where my character comes from as I am quite different from the rest of my family, but now I can see why I have always felt such a strong connection with him.

This has all really happened only as a result of the distance from the events giving me a different perspective.  This is a result of time passing and as we grow older our perspective on many things changes.  Seeing things in a different light always gives us more opportunities and greater understanding.  I am now considering how I can bring this interesting story to life for other people to share.

What are you seeing differently now?  What new insights does that give you?  What opportunities does that present to you today?

Do something different

All the research evidence tells us that as we get older we need to use our brains more to avoid mental decline.  However there are actually things that we get better at doing with our brains as we get older. One of these is pattern recognition.  We are better able to notice when there is a repeating pattern of behaviour, events, incidents and we also better remember if we have previously encountered conceptual things before such as a story, news article, piece of music or we can quickly associate images with those we have seen before.

So I believe that our brains become more powerful as we get older.  Maybe they are a bit like my computer - its more powerful to me now than when I bought it as it actually has more stuff stored in it.  Your brain does store more stuff every day so its not surprising it can recognise patterns more easily as it has more data to work with. Any time you enc outer a new experience in life you brain tries to classify or categorise it with something that it already recognises.  This is a bit like me asking my computer to find a file containing the word "happiness".  The more data it has to compare with, the more likely it is to make a positive association.

When the brain is doing this work it is laying down new connections and developing new pathways.  This build up your brains ability to do things, giving it greater choices of the pathways it uses.  So its like a road map - if I wanted to go from A to B and only one road existed, with a slow tractor on it which I couldn't overtake I'd take a long time to get there.  If I had a choice of roads I'd be able to make the journey more effectively.

You don't have to do things outrageously differently to make your brain work that little bit harder and make new connections.  You could just take a different route to a familiar place, eat your lunch in a new cafe, go to the cinema instead of the pub.  What are you going to do that's different today?  What else will you do that's different tomorrow?

The old way is best?

I've got great gaps in the brickwork in my porch and yesterday finally got aorund to filling them with expanding foam filler.  This only took about 20 minutes and has done a pretty good job too.  However later on I was reflecting that the other alternative would have been to mix up some mortar and repoint the areas in need of it.  That's what should have been done when the porch was built, probably about 40 years ago.  However its much quicker and pretty much as effective to use the foam.

One thing I have noticed about getting older is that I can keep doing things the old way, becasue I know how it works, I'm comfortable with it, when there may be better ways to do things.  So I spent many months thinking about buying mortar (and always rememberig after I'd left the DIY shop).  Then the other day I saw the foam filler cans and just bought them almost without thinking.

So there are times when we should stick to the old ways but we should also recognise that the world is moving on with us and new ways of doing things are appearing every day.  We should always investiagate these as with our life experience we'll be able to judge very quickly if they are better than our exisitng ways.

What new things will you try to day?  What old ways are you going to dump?  What are you going to experiment with?

Camping in hotels

Yes the hotel was horrible last week and I did end up sleeping in my clothes, not actually getting much sleep.  Then I got up, washed my face, went out and drove to the client site to deliver my training, eating my breakfast as I was setting up the training room.

It all worked OK cos I started to imagine, on getting back to my chilly hotel room, that it was just like a camping trip, and camping is an activity that I enjoy.  So it was good to have a bed that was actually better than having to lie on the ground; the room was warmer than it would have been in my tent and the toilet, although down the corridor was a lot closer than if I'd been on a campsite.  I wrapped myself in the bed cover as if it was a sleeping bag and piled the blankets on top and it was as warm as my five season sleeping bag.  So overall it was a very successful camping trip, a much more positive experience than a rubbish hotel stay.

How we preceive things can make the difference between having a great experience and a rubbish day.  Reframe your experiences in a different light and you'll feel very different too!  Get out those rose tinted specs again from where you shoved them to the back of the cupboard.  Seeing the world in a positive light affects not just you but everyone around you.  What can you see differently today?  How can you imagine things better?

Making Assumptions

I remarked to one of my neighbours the other day that sweeping up autumn leaves was a thankless task.  She agreed, saying that if she didn’t keep on top of it then our other neighbours would be really annoyed about the leaves blowing from her garden into theirs.  When I asked how she knew this, she said it was just obvious; anyone would get fed up with having leaves all over their garden.

It was an assumption and she had become a prisoner of that assumption, committing herself to the toils of Sisyphus, situated as we are at the edge of a wood on top of a windy hill.

We all have to make assumptions all the time for life to actually function at all.  I assume that there will be traffic on the A69 today and that cheese will go off in the fridge if I leave it there long enough.  These are relatively safe assumptions but they can both be tested easily (and I frequently test both of them, especially the one about the cheese). 

When we get into trouble though, is when we start taking action based on assumptions about other people, their actions, thoughts and feelings, without checking these out first.   How often has a row been precipitated in your house by the words “I just assumed that you…….”?

We are all view the world from our own perspective and what annoys one of us may be a non-event to someone else.  You will never know this unless you ask.  Knowledge is always more powerful than assumption. 

What assumptions are guiding your decisions and actions today?  How can you test those these and turn them into knowledge, giving you more power?

Older and more cynical?

I heard someone remark “Well maybe its just that I’m older and more cynical”, as if these two things went together naturally, like bread and jam or Posh and Becks or even rock and roll.  Why should being older naturally make you more cynical. I don’t believe that it does.

I could see that you would be come more realistic in your outlook as you might have needed to balance expectations against delivery across many areas of your life. I can see that you may become more pragmatic as you notice what is promised and what realistically can be achieved. However as you gain a greater experience of humanity by spending more time on Earth you will likely become more tolerant - "I know that he said 5 days but in my experience it generally takes 7 or 8"  That is not really being cynical – its just being realistic and bringing your experience into play.

So instead of describing yourself as cynical which has really negative connotations try to find a different word, maybe realisitic or pragmatic will do.  Or even as you become a long standing Earth visitor you may become more positive as you see the best in people, realise that most foulups are not malicious and start to become more accepting of people's human failings as you notice your own.

Embracing Change

I was completing delivery of a Spring Forward programme in London on Tuesday, had meetings yesterday morning and travelled back on the train in the afternoon.  It was interesting to note the progression of autumn as the train swept North through the countryside.  Most of the trees further South are still green, whereas the trees that I see from my office on this frosty morning are mainly dressed in autumn colours.

I actually love the autumn with its rich colours and harvest plenty, but I know plenty of people who bemoan its coming, unpacking winter warmers and shivering over their Lemsip.  I like it cos it heralds for me the coming of winter and from the first flush of autumn crocus I am waiting for snow.  Also this year it has provided plenty of inspiraiton for my poetry and on the train down to London I scribbled down three more pages towards my collection of equinoctial verse.

However, love it or hate it, autumn follows summer and the winter is hard on its heels.  We can't affect that, its a change that comes at us every year.  Despite that many of us will sit around in denial for ages, clinging to our summer frocks and strappy sandals.  And often that is our reaction to any kind of change, whether happening at work or at home.  Sit tight and it might miss me, hunker down and someone else will deal with it, shout and get angry and they'll do it differently, if I keep doing what I've always done they'll let me carry on that way. 

We all deal with change in a myriad different ways and it is important to recognise that many changes are like a juggernauts heading for us and we cannot stop them or even affect their direction. If that is the case then its going to be a lot less effort to just accept that its happening and find a way to deal with your reaction to it.  After all we all have that winter coat at the back of the wardrobe, its just a case of digging it out and dusting it off.

What are the autumns in your life that are threatening to mow you down?  How are you reacting to them? How can you celebrate that change instead of moaning and whinging about it?  What is your eqivalent of the snow that you can look forward to after the change is over?   

Seen it all before

Still sitting at Heathrow delayed by fog, 5 hours after landing from Delhi, when I should have been arriving home about now.  However, the bonus of getting older is that I’ve seen it all before, been delayed before and eventually got home.  That means that whenever I travel I’m prepared.  Its not that I expect the worst to happen, just that my experience shows that if it does, its best to have some small comforts to while away the hours and help keep me occupied and feeling good.

Experience told me that there must be somewhere to have a shower, so I found somewhere.  Experience told me that when there are delays they give out refreshment vouchers so I asked for one (I’ve now had two cos we’ve been here so long).  Experience told me that there are always quiet corners away from the crowds near to power points so I am now sitting on the floor typing upstairs where the air of resentment from delayed passengers isn’t quite so bad.  Experience told me to pack toothpaste, moisturiser and spare underwear, just in case, now I’m very glad I did.

All of this adds up to me being a lot more prepared and comfortable I than might have been if I hadn’t encountered this sort of thing before.  However many of us discount the experience that we have built up over time in our lives, failing to capitalise on it and recognise its worth.  I’ve worked with so many people who have change fatigue, but who don’t recognise that they actually have very good strategies for coping with change.  I’ve encountered people with great skills who don’t recognise how transferable those skills are.

What experience do you have that makes you a saleable item?  What’s your unique selling point – that combination of skills and experience that sets you apart from anyone else?  What valuable experience have you even forgotten you have?  Experience is currency – how are you going to add to your experience bank this week?

Alone in Delhi

Today we flew in to Delhi from Srinagar and this evening I am on my way to Jaipur. I had a few hours in the capital, released from the care of my hosts, who are travelling themselves to Jodhpur. We arranged a taxi for the afternoon and I planned what I wanted to do and then started by going to the internet café to catch up with my email, as I’d had no access to phone or email over the weekend in Kashmir.

As I wandered back a few streets to my taxi I noticed how odd I felt, being out in the city by myself. I hadn’t really noticed, but ever since I arrived here I have been accompanied everywhere, been very well looked after and not really had to make any decisions by myself, except perhaps to choose between veg or non-veg at mealtimes. I suddenly realised how quickly you could lose your self confidence under these conditions. You’d be living in a sort of cocoon, protected from risks and dangers, defiantly but not exposed to opportunities to think for yourself and maybe just see what happens if there is no plan.

This was a great learning experience for me as many of the women that I work with come to programmes with low self esteem and I can now see how one of the contributing factors can be not experiencing life for themselves, doing it through someone else – friends, relatives, partners, children, not being out there and making their own decisions. So where in your life are you a passenger?  Where are you allowing someone else to make your decisions for you?  Are you experiencing aspects of your life through someone else?  Take a positive step and stand up for what you want to do today, get out there and experience life yourself, it's great!

Keep smiling

In Japan they have a problem with an aging population that is even more acute than ours.  It has more than four times as many centenarians.  One women who was 100 in April was interviewed for a report in yesterday's Independent.  She puts her longevity down to having a happy-go-lucky nature.  She is cheerful most of the time and even if she is worried about something she gets a good night's sleep.  That, coupled with the healthy Japanese diet that is antioxidant rich, contains little animal fat and lots of soya, vegetables and seafood has resulted in her outliving her son, who died of cancer 6 years ago.

So the message from Asia is clear - be happy, eat healthy, live longer and fitter.

So what are you going to do today to bring a smile to your face? What are you doing to make your diet healthier to support you as you get older?  What are you planning for your 80th, 90th, 100th birthdays?

Its all make believe!

Here in Orlando its all make believe.  I am surrounded by theme parks. Pretend typhoons, waterfalls, castles, caves, ships etc etc  Last night I even saw some real alligators in a pretend lagoon.

Just listen to the phrase - make believe, put a small pause in between the words, and you will get a better sense of what it is about. We are making ourselves believe something. This process involves our brains and it works so well because our brains have trouble separating what is real from what is make believe. So we can choose the type of make believe that we have in our brains. You can choose to make a really good internal world where you are successful and happy or you can choose to make a world where everything is great for you, going just as you want it to.

When your make believe is to tell yourself that you are really confident, feeling strong and moving positively into the future then your body will comply with what your brain is demanding and you are already outwardly becoming confident, strong and positive.

What positive, supportive and helpful make believe will you experience today?

Not making a decision

I've bought a new car!  For most of us this is an exciting event and it is also for me. I phoned a couple of friends to tell them about this and the response that I got surprised me. "Boring" "How predictable" "What not another one!"  This is all due to the fact that my new car is in fact the same car again. This will by my third lime green fast "boy-racer" Seat Ibiza and that is why I am being called predictable.

What I actually did was not make a decision. I have not had time to consider what new car I should get so when this one just fell into my lap it seemed a good idea to just go with it and avoid that decision for a few years longer.

In fact I did make a decision - not to make a decision - and its certainly OK to do that if you don't feel that you have the time, space or information to  make a decision. At least if you decide not to decide you can redirect your energies elsewhere rather than continually nagging yourself about the decision that needs to be made.

So what do you need to not make a decision about so that you can allow yourself to move on in other areas. 

A 13 year old moment

A 13 year old moment

I’ve been watching Sex in the City.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before as I don’t have a TV and rarely watch when I am in away hotels, as I am usually still working in the evenings. However they were talking about being 34, yet having a 13 year old moment and I thought what a fabulous idea that was.

I know that sometimes I really want to step aside from being grown up and have some 13 year old time.  A time when there are no responsibilities, no car to service or rent to pay. Some time when life stretches before me like a blank sheet of paper, waiting to be filled with exciting adventures. Some time when life contains more fun and less worry, more hopes and fewer fears.

And we can all do that. We can all decide to have some time when we are going to act as if we were 13 again and there was so much potential ahead of us. Just think what we could accomplish if we believed that some of our best achievements were yet to come, that we were still at the beginning of an exciting lifetime, that there was still so much more to look forward to.  Try it and see how it feels. 

Or you could ask yourself next time you are wrestling with a problem or issue - How would I react or approach this if I was 13, what decisions would I make, how would I see things differently?

That 13 year old is still there inside all of us, get your 13 year old to help you.