BlogPositive

The best year yet?

See I don't really believe in being talked down by all those gainsayers out.  It may not be cool or popular to say it but I am going to.......

Are you ready?

I am having my best year yet!!

Yes its completely true.  Exisiting clients are throwing more work at me almost daily. I am getting new clients and I am getting calls from people who want to work with me in a variety of new and different ways. Hey you may think that I'm lucky, that I have some secret formula.  Well let me tell you the secret.

Are you ready?

Its bloody hard work.  All that client work does not fall out of the sky I can tell you. Its about applying yourself, doing the hard graft, not giving up when you get a no the first time round all mixed up with a very healthy amount of always putting the client first, doing a damn good job when you get out there to do your thing and believing that everything will go right, having a sales accumulator graph on the wall in front of me and expecting to be successful.  And yes there are some nights with just a few hours sleep.  Yes there are the days when the public transport system lets you down or the bank seems to be your worst enemy, but thats just real life and no-one ever died from real life.  Above all its  about having a passion and belief in what I'm doing.  For me thats what makes the difference between good and great.

So if I can buck the recession trend so can you.  If you want to have the best year yet for you and your life just decide to make it that way.  Think positve, take action towards those positive goals, give something back and expect the best.  But remember - the secret is taking action, not just thinking about it.  What action can you take today to make this your best year yet?

Vote for happiness!!

The Mind Gym award an academic prize for the best research on positive psychology.  You can look at short videos prepared by this years short list entrants and post your vote here.

My vote went to the Happiness research.  If there is one thing that almost everyone wants on my development programmes its to be happier. I'm delighted to see that the research backs up my gut feeling - that having more things doesn't make you  happy.  When I look around at the people I know the ones that have always seemed the happiest are the ones having more experiences, doing more things, interacting with more and different people, travelling, doing new things and trying out new ideas, expanding their experiences.

Its great cos it now shows that you can do things to make you happy.  As the guy says " The take-home message: to become happier, start doing something new. If you do it well, and also vary how, when, and where you do it, then you can gain lasting benefits."

What new things can you do this week that will make you happier.  How can you vary the new things you did last week to keep this new state of happiness?

Perfect 10

Well the nice people at the NECC have changed their course evaluation forms.  When asked how likely they were to reccommend the course to a friend I scored straight 10s today.  This brought their whole week's averages soaring up so its a great end to the week for them.  I'm also particuarly pleased as its been a very busy week and I was very tired today,

As trainers we get external verification almost every time we do any work.  Its great to have all those positive strokes but do we really need them?  I guess we all need to be told that we are doing a good job even when we already know.  I can feel when things are going right so although I like the eval forms I really want them so that the client can see that it all went really well, cos they are not usually in the room.

How do you know if things are going well?  What do you feel?  What do you hear?  What do you see?  If you can capture that then you'll need less external verification and can plan to be your own best supporter, giving yourself positive feedback whenever necessary.  What did you do well today?

Proud to be Australian

The BBC announced this morning that the difference between the minimum temperature in the UK and the maximum temperature in Sydney was around 60 degrees.  Thats an amazing fact.  They then interviewed a number of Australians, asking them if they wanted to swap their heatwave for the snowy environment in the UK.  Not surprisingly they all said no.  One said "I'm proud to be Australian and I love my country.  I wouldn't swap it for anywhere".

I thought how refreshing it was to hear someone express that sort of pride.  I've very rarely heard anyone say that about Britain.  Somehow its become unfashionable to express pride, and not just pride in your country either.  How unusual is it for you to express pride in anything - your work, your children, your successes, your home or garden or creative projects, your friends or the support that they give you.

So just for a minute think of what you're proud of.  I'm proud of what I've achieved with my work - bringing opportunites for development to so many women.  I'm also proud of my course particpants for the many amazing things that they go on to achieve.  I'm proud of all my climbing and skiing friends who keep in touch when often I can't get out and join them because of work pressures.  I'm proud of taking the circulation of my newsletter to over 700 and I'm proud of my independance.

What are you proud of?  What does that tell you about yourself?  Who will you tell about that pride tomorrow? 

New Year Revolutions

We live in the age of recycling and reusing.  At this time of year everyone is rushing around trying to keep to thier new year resulotions or trying to make some up if they got left out of the New Year hurly burly.  Trying here of course is the operative word.  And the problem with it is that as long as you tell yourself you are trying, that is all you will do.  You will keep trying and possibly never actually succeed. 

Its a very plucky thing to do, just keep trying.  Well I say that never mind new resolutions, just recycle the ones that you already have.  How's that for a revolution!  Well its easy really.  How many times last year did you say to yourself "I really must stop doing that" or maybe "I must rememebr that when I do X I need to do it that way" or maybe "I really should do X or Y this week". 

So my new year revolution is to advise you to just recycle all of those everyday resolutions that you made at any time last year.  These are only small things and they can make a big difference to your life.  Achieving suuccess in these small things, rather than just trying, will make you feel good about yourself and will spur you on to greater challenges.  And because they are small things they are not intimidating or difficult to achieve.

So get out all those tired old resolutions, dust them off and get cracking!!

Whats your passion?

I had a friend staying the other day. He is a Liverpool fan and they were playing a game. Every now and again his phone would go off when it alerted him that they had scored. He apologised for it. "You don't mind if I look at this do you?" I don't mind - it's important to him, its something that he cares about. Is there stuff you care about? Or do you just fade into the background, just another grey person with nothing to distinguish you from anyone else. I've often found that people can be all too politically correct about stuff, not want to put their hand up and be counted, actually speak out about stuff that they care about. It doesn't matter what you care about really, just that there is something that gets you excited. That something will give you some zing, make you seem alive. It will drive you to action and colour what you do. It will set you apart from people around you. And when the chips are down it can give you something to live for, a reason to keep going. What you really care about makes you who you are to some extent. If you don't really care very much about anything then who are you, really? What do you care about? Does anyone know that?

Getting Started

I've just been away and I'm heading off again tomorrow. So I have just today in the office to get back up to speed and sort out everything for the next few days. This would be fine and a completely acceptable activity that could fill most of the day. However added to that I still have several big project going on where I have to write reports, work on presentations or crunch numbers for evaluations. Each of these is about a day's work in itself.

So here I am writing a blog instead of getting started. Its all too easy to do this when you have big tasks to tackle. Its very easy to just engage yourself with lots of stuff that seems important and will fill your time, when the really big stuff is still there looming in the background. Its intimidating as you know it might be difficult, it might make you think and have to really knuckle down.

Life is really like that too. You put off making those big decisions, starting to work on your new life plan, working out what you really want out of your life or career as they seem like a big mountain to climb. Or maybe you know what you want but starting to move towards that seems like a big step to take.

So the best thing to do when life is like that is just to do something, anything, however small that takes you one step towards your goal. I have just emailed a client to tell them they will have their report by the end of this week. That's one small step. Now I have read through my spreadsheet of results and as soon as I finish writing this blog I am going to type up a list of sections for the report. Just chipping away at that one bit at a time will get it done.

And as soon as I start working on it I feel much more positive.

So what big stuff are you putting off? What one small thing can you do towards it now? What can be your next step after that?

Make small changes

I was chatting to one of my course participants recently. She has been concerned about attending a Springboard programme as she thought that she might have to make radical changes to her life.  She was telling me how she was really pleased that our focus was on making small changes.  That had made everything really easy for her.

Today I was reading about a new pilot in schools to promote healthy lifestyles.  The head teacher was saying that asking the chidren to give up their chocolate bar on two days a week was a small enough thing to do that it was OK.  If they had banned chocolae then there would have been a revolt and no progress would be made.

One of my colleagues tells a story about a jet leaving London to travel to New York. Imagine that there is a straight line between the two.  Lets say that as the plane sets off the pilot makes a tiny change in the direction that the jet is travelling, only maybe one degree difference.  After seven hours flying where will they be?  Well they certainly won't be at their original destination.  They will more likely be in Miami or Baffin Island (either of which would be preferable to New York in my opinion).

The thing is, you can get big changes over time by making only small alterations in they way that you do things today.  So if you need more sleep you could choose to go to bed 10 minutes earlier than your normal time.  Not ten minutes extra earlier every day, otherwise you'd very soon be in bed for 24 hours (OK maybe not such a bad idea!).  Anyway with that 10 minutes extra you'll have just over an hour extra every week, which will build to 30 hours extra over a month.  So you see just by making one very small change you have had a significant effect over time.

What one small thing could you do differently today that could make a big difference over time?  When will you do it?  How will you know if its making a difference?

Breaking and entering

I had to break into my own car last night. Clearly I'm not cut out for a life of crime as it took me about half an hour.  I'm selling it. I have a replacement already and the old car has been standing for ages.  Its got a flat battery and not enough power to run the deadlock from the alarm system. And I couldn't get the key to turn in the lock. Ho hum, the wonders of technology.

Its all my fault though. Its right outside my office window. I know the battery is likely to go flat if its left for too long, but every day I do nothing about it. It would only take a few minutes to run the engine periodically and charge it up.  But no, real life has intervened, too involved with other stuff to get around to it.

How often is that the case with so many things in life. We think about getting round to it and suddenly its been a week, a month, a year.  How will it be if you neglect your friends, family, relationships, fitness, career just because you couldn't get round to it.  I was too busy to call you. I was too busy to find out about retraining. I was too busy to go to the doctor. I've been too busy to go to the gym.  Really if we pay attention to things we'll get them done. Prioritise the background things that get overlooked or they will trip you up in the end.

What are you neglecting at the moment?  What will it take to get you to do something about it?  What will happen if you don't?

A great budget for women

Hey do you know the hidden secrets that the new budget holds?  Well I do, and its the single piece of good news that I can find. I am going to be worse off, there is absolutley no good news for single people, no good news at all for businesses - my corporation tax will go up (what incentive is there to make a profit) and every time I go somewhere to work or for a meeting it is going to cost me more.  And what do I get -the grand increase of £15 per month. That will not pay for my council tax bill increase.

So Darling is not my darling as you can imagine. However one tiny ray of hope buried on page 50 of the full budget report

a new capital fund for female entrepreneurs

Thats it. No explanation or information or anything else about this. I've just emailed the treasury to find out more and I've also asked both of the Chambers that I am a member of.

So I say its a great budget for women. Cheers guys, we'll sell your businesses down the river if it means that we can get a toehold.  Now maybe UKplc will start to wake up to the contribution that women can and do make to the economy. Yo girl power!

Get everything done

Well if we could all do that there would be no need for all these expensive motivation gurus and self help books.  However if you are anything like me then most of what needs to be done escapes you for one reason or another.

So yesterday I finally got around to doing a job that's been waiting for months, years even.  I have a jerry built porch and a pretty shabby back door.  There are gaps in the porch brickwork through which I can see daylight in the general direction of our ever blowing wind.  That means that when its anything above breezy, which is most of the time, a really cold wind blows under and around the back door.

Yesterday was particualrly windy and I got absolutely fed up wth getting chilly ankles sitting working at my desk.  So I finally went out and attacked the gaps with expanding foam filler.  Hey its great stuff to use, I can highly reccommend it.  Suddnely after I had filled all the gaps it was much quieter in the porch, no roaring wind any more.  That set me off on a roll and I then worked on renewing the draught proofing around two doors, sealed up the defunct fan in the bathroom and filled all the gaps behind two light switches.  The light switches were a surprise - a really cold draught emenating from them.

Now of course I'm wondering why it took me so long to get round to it as the resut is great.  I can now sit and work without getting chilly ankles so I'll save money not using the fan heater.  Sometimes to get motivated we need to focus on what the worthwhile results are going to be of the things we are putting off.  For other people they finally get their motivaiton becuse they want to stop something bad happening, which was the case with me this time.  Understanding what motivates you - do you want to do stuff for the good result or for stopping the bad stuff happening - will always be useful and help you to get everyhting done.

What are you putting off today?  Why? What will make you just get up and do it?  Why not get up and do it now?

Staying Motivated

Over the last few weeks with the dark days and appalling weather I've been struggling with my motivation for fitness training.  It seems to have been raining almost non-stop since the beginning of November until the beginning of last week.  This was putting me off going out running.  Its the really little things that can sometimes sabotage you isn't it? 

My first 200 yards from the house is along a really potholed track which gets deep puddles whenever it rains so within a few minutes of leaving the house I have very wet feet, which makes the rest of my run - along the road, really unpleasant and uncomfortable.  Then it takes ages for my shoes to dry when I get home and I couldn't face the prospect of having to rinse the mud off.  Then added to this I had resolved to go running in the morning.  I live in a really rural area where there are no street lights and narrow roads with no footpaths but quite a lot of traffic between 7 and 9 going up to Spadeadam, the RAF base just up the road.  So its actually really quite dangerous to run in the dark and now it doesn't get light until nearly 8 o'clock so if I go running in the morning I wouldn't be starting work until around 9.30.

These two factors combined meant that I had hardly done any running for ages.  So over a weekend recently I decided that I would - it had stopped raining and I was not going to do any work until the afternoon.  I decided that I would just run for a short way to see how it felt, giving myself permission to turn back at any point after the end of the track (just 200 yards from the house !).  That motivated me enough to run for nearly 15 minutes. Then the next day I did 20 minutes and the day after that my full half hour.

So by recognising the small things that were sabotaging me I was able to take action and start again. Also by starting small I was able to see early success which motivated me to do more.

So what are the small things that are sabotaging your motivation?  Now that you have recognised them what are you going to do about them?  What small steps can you take to get you started?  What reward will you give yourself once you get going? Imagine how good it will feel when you have completed the task.

Quantity gives quality

I've been writing an article about my India trip tonight and needed some photos to go with it.  I hadn't actually downloaded them yet so I've been squirting nearly 600 shots from my camera into my PC. I'm surprised at how many pics there are.  But then when I look at them there are probably about 20 really good shots, with the right light, exposure, composition etc that I could print and frame and hang on the wall, and then about 20 mediocre ones and the rest are just tourist snaps that we just don't bother printing any more.

This really ilustrates the point from my creativity course last month that in order to be really creative and make good work you have to churn our vast quantities of work and be prepared to throw most of it away.  This can be a bit galling, but when the good stuff is really good then its well worth it.  I took about 50 shots of the sunset over Dal Lake, a famous beauty spot in Srinagar and there are two or three that I am really pleased with, so it was worth the effort to take the rest.

This maxim of quantity giving you quality applies to lots of things in life but we forget this and expect things to be perfect first time.  You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince (believe me I'm still looking) and you may have to try out lots of jobs before you find you ideal post, look at lots of houses before you find your perfect home, practice with lots of salsa partners before you find your perfect match.  So if there's something in your life that's not quite right remember that you probably just haven't tried enough times, not given enough permutations, or not had enough experiences.

So where have you given up too early?  Get out there and do more!

Harness your passion

Today I was listening to a thought for the day on BBC Radio Cumbria where someone's passion has led them to new opportunities.  And I wondered how many of us really allow that passion that we have (whatever it is for) to drive us along. Often we will stifle it because its not appropriate, there isn't time, someone else thinks its silly etc etc

Well if you keep doing that then you will  never get into that state of excitement that sweeps all before it, that state where you believe that nothing could possibly go wrong, that state that allows you to conquer all and achieve anything that you set your mind to.  These things are driven by passion. If you allow your passion to show through then you will not need to motivate yoursef to get up every day, you will find your motivation rises easily from within.  And that positive feeling will transfer to other areas of your life as well, making everything much rosier.

So go on indulge your passion today!

Making excuses

I've been listening to a discussion on Radio 4's Talking Politics this morning as I was driving back from Carlisle after collecting my watch that had fallen apart inside.  One of the aspects they were talking about was the role of genetics in things like intelligence. There is very clear evidence now that genetics can play a big role in your aptitude for learning and understanding certain things. So even in the same family different children will be good at maths and others at languages or sport.  Some of this argument was put by Robert Plomin. However there is also evidence from Bruce Sacerdote's work in the USA that upbringing and environment also have a part to play in educational success since randomly placed adoptees more frequently went to college when living in higher achieving families.  So the nature/nurture debate continues.

Plomin claims that the educational establishment has been slow to accept the role that genetics can play.  I wonder about this in that it would be very easy then to make excuses "Oh he'll never amount to anything he has bad genes".  However when you look at the variabililty due to genetics there is a very large degree of crossover in level of achievement.  That means that whatever is in your DNA you have a 90% chance of doing as well as someone whose genes give them a better aptitude.  Whatever your genetic make up you are not sentenced to a life of underachievement and unhappiness.

It made me think about how many of us make excuses all the time that let us off the hook in terms of achievement.  Its all too easy to blame anything else except the real cause.  And it can strike in any area of your life and the excuse can be almost anything that you "apparently" cannot control.  The single word that gives it away is "Because".  I couldn't do that because......  I'll never be success because........And what always follows is an excuse. And even as you say it or think it you know this.

It can happen to all of us. Years ago I did a Belbin Team Roles assessment.  My lowest score was for Completer Finisher.  And ever since then I've used that as an excuse for leaving things undone, incomplete, unfinished, telling myself that its OK cos that is "just the way I am".  Codswallop, what a load of bull. I can finish things if I want to (ask all the jilted lovers in my past!) but I often use this excuse not to.

So what are you using as excuses?  What are the things that you are leaning on that are "apparently" out of your control?  If you kick them out of the way you'll have to stand on your own two feet.  When are you saying that its "just the way I am" and you know its a big fat lie?  Make a positive choice to recognise these excuses for what they are and ban them from your future.

Building buttons

Its not a normal day here at all.  My neigbours are moving to the beautiful town of Wooler and the removal men are here.  I have just been to my doctor and they've taken some blood to find out if I'm ill or just getting older! And I'm finally getting back into my online bank accounts after my laptop was stolen in May. And all of this on very little sleep cos I was up till 3am working on the blog.

The blogosphere and web are all about linking. I'm a kind and helpful person and I have had so much excellent feedback on the blog content from all of you, my loyal readers, that I'd like to let more people know about the blog so they can also live more positively.  So I have started listing in blog directories.  When I started this I thought it would be an easy job.  Then I found out that I had to build back links with buttons and clever html stuff.  I was a bit hesitant about this as its not something that I've done before and all the clever stuff on the web site is done by Sylvia, my indispensible right-hand woman.

So I first of all just attacked it using the techniques that I'd used for adding other stuff like the website links. This didn't work properly.  Then (at about midnight) I read all of the stuff in the Typepad knowledge base and after translating it into non-technospeak I thought I knew what to do.  My first couple of attempts at the coding didn't work but then I had a light bulb moment and it all fell into place.  It's a sort of work around as there is no easy way of doing this in Typepad.  But the result is all the button links that you can find by scrolling down on the right below the daily cartoon. As we are accepted into the directories I'll update these so you can go right to our entry and vote or rate this blog.

My sense of achievement is huge over this.  And I was really hesitant about doing it, it didn't work properly the first few times but I knew that it should be do-able.  So lessons for us all here in terms of actually just getting stuck in.  It also absolutley typical of me to charge in without reading the instructions so if you are like that don't give yourself a hard time - cos I actually had it about half right in the way that I first tried. And I knew that when I'd done it I'd feel really proud.  Stepping outside your comfort zone and trying something new can be intimidating but if you don't take that first step you will never reach your goal.

Ski Sunday

Last night as I switched off the light in the office I observed my skis which stand in a corner near the door so I walk past them many times a day.  They were new skis last season, twin tips, K2 Urban Warriors. A friend was visiting recently and asked me why I had my skis there in the middle of summer.

Well apart from the fact that with the current Cumbrian summer weather it could snow at any time :-) they are also there to provide motivation.  They are reminder for me of one of the reasons that I work - to get money to go skiing. I love it and have just started my training for the coming season so today I am a bit stiff from last night's session.  Having that physical reminder of what the work is really all for helps to keep me going when I am feeling tired or bored or just putting things off.

What reminders do you need around you to keep you going and provide motivation when times get tough?  Of course it needn't be anything as big and cumbersome as my skis, just something to keep on your desk, in your pocket or beside your bed.  My friend Gavin had a great shot of a lakeside house as his computer wallpaper since living somewhere like that is one of his goals. Whatever you choose, its a positive expression of your intention for the future and a motivational fix when you need one.

Disappointment Peak

I am at Chicago airport on my way home and pondering about my holiday in the Teton National Park, Wyoming. I have had a great time and have unfortunately not got as much climbing done as I would have liked. This was due to a vareity of circumstances. I am disappointed as its a long way to travel.  There is a peak there called Disappointment Peak. It was climbed by the earlier expolorers and as it did not lead where they were hoping so they named it Disappointment Peak.

One of the side effects of not managing so much climbing is that I have seen a LOT of wildlife that I may not have encountered. Count amongst that lots of bear, buffalo and elk, as well as some spectacular birdlife and it all adds up to not a disappointment but a great success. In life its all a matter of attitude. I could call it a disappointing climbing holiday or a successful break in the Tetons. I choose the latter.

What are the things that you are viewing as a disappointment?  What are the positive aspects of that apparent disappointment?.  How can you reframe how you are looking at things to give yourself a more positive outlook?

Who is motivating the motivators?

Are you the one person in your job, household, team, groups of friends that keeps everyone going? Is it you who always picks up the pieces and looks on the bright side? Do you always have the answer to problems and a good idea along the way?  If so well done!  Give yoursef a pat on the back.

Now, who is looking after you? All of that motivation and support uses up energy, you need to be nurtured too.  You need a way to feel good so that you can share all that good stuff with everyone else. So who is motivating the motivators?

I ask myself that question. And right now, late on Sunday night, its my friend Robo from the States and we are chatting via messenger. I haven't heard from him in ages and its great to catch up. He is reminding me that life is a great giggle and its hard to be serious with him for more than about 5 seconds. That certianly renews my energy. How is your energy  getting topped up?