BlogPositive

Old and simple remedies

There was an item on the news tonight about some research into flu. They've found that you can significantly reduce your risk of infection by wearing a mask. Not just any old wad of cotton though, a proper sugical mask. Its really surprising that no-one has done this research before. It just indicates that there are still old fashioned and easy ways to solve problems still waiting to be discovered, even today in the 21st century. We should remember this when trying to solve our own problems. Instead of seeking a complicated and many layered solution, ask yourself "Whats the simplest and easiest answer to this problem?" I have a friend who is trying to get his dog looked after when he's on holiday. Taking it to the kennels seems obvious but its complicated by their strict opening hours, his lack of car and of course the cost. He has another friend who loves dogs, would pick it up, drop it off and lavish it with love and long walks. Problem solved easily. The other day I ended up at Birmingham instead of Bristol when my flight was re-routed. The complexity of getting from there to my final destination by public transport was baffling. Just hire a car, get in it and drive there. Simple. Sorted. Ok, not very kind to the planet but got me where I needed to be. So don't struggle with long winded answers, solutions that need a degree to understand them or resolutions written on more than half a page. Get simple and your problems at home and at work disappear more quickly.

Your top team

Who are your top team? They are your board of directors, your trusted advisors, your unofficial mentors and coaches. Most companies however small have a team that helps them set strategy, deal with major issues and plan their growth. As an individual you can do exactly the same thing and have a top team who you talk to when you need advice.

I'm considering making major changes to my business life and about a month ago I was mulling over the opportunity. I felt uncomfortable and sort of edgy about it and knew I needed to get the advice of my top team. Because my business is me, any major changes are as much about me as they are about the business. I have a top team who I consult about major things in my life. In the space of one evening I spoke to 7 very different people, all friends who know me well. They had very different perceptions of what this might mean for me. They each highlighted different things that I should be thinking about and had a different reaction to the idea. Some were very cautious, some thought it was a risky move, some thought it might compromise my freedom to do the other things that I enjoy doing and some saw it as a fantastic opportunity.

However none of them said they didn't want to talk about it and they all said that I should keep in touch about what was happening. After these calls I felt much more settled. Although I hadn't made a final decision about what to do I felt I was better prepared to ask the right questions that would help me to gather the data that I needed. I've spoken to them all again this week as the matter progresses. It's a difficult one to make a decision about and although no-one else can make the decision for me, knowing that the top team care about my happiness and my future really helps.

Who are your top team? When did you last ask then for advice? How can you include them more in your decision making? What can you do to help them in return?

When would you give up?

I had an interesting day in Thursday. I flew to Bristol to get to a meeting in Devon. After two aborted landings in fog, we got re-routed and I ended up in Birmingham. We sat on the tarmac for ages before the captain made a decision to fly us back to Bristol. I worked out that by the time we had got clearance and actually got back it would too late for me to make it by bus and train to my meeting. I therefore asked to get off the plane. The EasyJet staff were quite shocked by this. Clearly its an irregular request and they didn't really have a procedure. However once I had said I wanted to get off so did 5 other people.

So I got off and hired a car to drive to Devon. Then the M5 was closed. Although I avoided this, thanks to information from my world class PA, the A roads around the diversion were still very congested. I did finally reach my destination about 2 hours late and was able to have my meeting.

However a lot of other people would have given up. How much determination do you have to keep going when the going gets tough? What would it actually take to make you give up? Do you give up too easily? Do you keep going when its hopeless?

Sometimes you have to make apparently foolish decisions in the face of difficult circumstances. But at least you have done something to keep moving forwards. The most frustrating time for me on Thursday was sitting on the tarmac. If you are not moving do something, anything to change the situation..

Exhaust knocking?

Today I took the car to the garage and got my exhaust sorted. It was a minor bit of work, took them about half an hour. It had been knocking really badly until the pipe-work warmed up and more recently even after that. It sounded dreadful and was really irritating. Its been niggling at me for about 2 months. I would notice it as I drove away from the house and then forget it as soon as I got out of the car. But it was steadily getting worse and a friend remarked on it recently. It was a terrible noise, sounded as it something big was falling apart.

However despite all this and knowing exactly what it was, it took me two months to sort it out. Now its great. Sounds much better, no knocking, nice and smooth no matter how fast I go around bends. Its was so easy why didn't I do it ages ago?

Well there are many, many things in life that that. They are small and niggly and you don't sort them out. They needle and irritate and have the potential to become bigger issues if not dealt with. You know the sort of thing. Your partner never filling the car with petrol, your mates always getting the round in and getting you the wrong drink, your kids inviting friends around on homework nights, your boss assuming you'll do the overtime cos you are the only woman without children, your colleagues never filling the photocopier with paper or toner. Its these little things that don't get dealt with that can gnaw away at you leading to a flare up or can become a bigger issue like when you have limited time to catch a train and the car needs petrol on the way.

Just think how much better life could be if you dealt with those small issues today. Think how much smoother your day would be. Think how much stress you could remove with just one small adjustment. Think how easy it would be to address it.

What small niggly issue are you dealing with today? How will you reward yourself when its sorted.

Have you lost your spring?

I hadn't been anywhere for two days on Monday when I got the car out. I turned the wheel and under the bonnet it went TWANG! That, dear readers, is the sound of a broken spring. I know that because my old car had the same problem. The garage have ordered the part and it'll be here in a day or so. What I want to know is - how come a spring can break when the car is sitting there for two days not moving? One of life's great imponderables. However as well as my car losing its spring it seems that I've lost some of my spring too. A friend visited last week and told me that I wasn't my normal bouncy self. I hadn't noticed this, but on reflection he was right. As a result of the combination of all the travelling, doing things at the last minute, getting to financial year end, coping with the VAT change I had just run out of steam. What is interesting is that until I was interacting with someone else I hadn't noticed it. So since last week I've been taking better care of myself. We've sorted out the finance stuff and I now have about 3 weeks without any work travel so everything has calmed down a bit. I'm also feeling good as things are looking bright for next year. I'm talking to half a dozen potential new clients who are very warm prospects. I already have trips planned to Australia, Spain and France and others might follow. How do you know how much spring you have? What will you do if you also run out of spring?

Move along the bus

I've been on the bus to Newcastle today to see some clients. It's about a 90 minutes journey and on the outward trip I was almost the first on the bus so could sit right at the front. I can suffer from travel sickness so I like to be able to see where I am going. On the way back the bus was much busier and I ended up near the back. My window was covered with a logo on the outside. Looking through it was like peering through mesh and made me feel queasy. As soon as I could I moved to the next row forwards. I really wanted to be nearer to the front but there were no seats available. However, gradually, as people got off I was able to move first a few rows, then a few more until finally I had the seat I wanted. This didn't take too long and I spent most of the journey in the place that I wanted. That's actually how most of us make progress in life. It's about taking opportunities as they arrive, moving forwards in small steps towards where you want to be. Sometimes, as I did, you might have to move from side to side to get to your ultimate seat, but each of those moves takes you closer to the front and gives you a fresh outlook. Of course if a space does come up right at the front then its great to leap right for it, cos you never know who is going to get on next and take that seat ahead of you. If you don't leap, even if you're not quite ready to move, then there may not be any seats when you are ready. Don't walk away from any opportunities without considering them. You never know just when they'll come past again. Where is the seat that you ultimately want to travel in? What steps did you take towards it today?

Stones on the beach

When you are on the beach the sea is constantly shifting the stones. I've been back to beaches on Anglesey where I used to go as a child 30 years ago. I've always believed that the stones eventually turn to sand but this must take absolutely eons because back on Anglesey the stony beaches are still there. Even after 30 years there is no sign of the sand. The beach is still stones and they don't seem any smaller. They have maintained the essence of what they are with their beautiful patterns and rounded shapes, despite the incessant washing of the waves.

I meet some people who won't engage with any of this "personal development stuff". They say that they don't want to change into someone they don't recognise, change themselves into someone different. Life washes over all of us, whether we take control of it or not. Although we'd like it to be calm, with occasional ripples maybe, it is often stormy, with giant waves washing over us. Whatever happens to you the essence of you remains, maybe a bit more rounded or shining brightly with the dampness of the wave-wash.

So what's holding you back from walking towards the waves today? Next time the waves crash over you what resources do you have to pick you up again? Where will the lifeboat come from when the tide rushes in?

Getting good advice

What can I do to make more time?  Should I get professional advice? How can I get more projects at work?  How can I get closer to my goals?  What can I do to be more successful?  What would make my marketing better?  What do I need to do to get on at this company?

We all need good advice every day. We need help with a myriad things.  Yet often we are not sure where to turn.  A year or so ago I took a fall whilst out climbing with my good friend Tim.  I had cut my shins pretty badly and we patched them up and made our separate ways home. I rang another friend and we discussed whether or not I should go to the hospital.  The cuts were pretty bad, I still have the scars now. He said "what would you advise someone else to do if they were in your position?". I would have sent them straight to the hospital - he was right.  So I did go.

I was chatting with a fellow consultant this afternoon. She works in the same field that I do.  She's been really busy and is getting jaded. Her work is not quite the party that it should be.  I said to her that she needed to be looking at her work-life balance, building in sustainability to her business model and getting to a future where she has more time for herself that is not work.  She agreed. "Absolutley" she said, "that is exactly the advice that I would give someone in my position".

These stories just show us that there is a wonderful source of advice there for us 24 hours a day. They are your personal coach, advisor, mentor, friend and confidante.  They understand you and what you want. They have your best interests at heart.  They want you to succeed.

That person is the inner you.  The voice in your head that always knows the right thing to do.  The feeling that directs you to the best outcome. The vision of everything going the right way.  We need to learn to trust that voice and listen to it more often. If you are looking for advice then look inwards, often you will find the answer there, already.

Having a barometer

I was thinking today about my personal barometers.  These are people who I measure against, whose opinions I value and who I consult, usually virtually, about decisions and suchlike. So I have always had a sewing barometer, my friend Fiona, from school, who came to visit just recently.  Whenever I was making things when I was younger I always asked myself "Is this hem straight enough for Fiona not to notice".  She was always my quality barometer for my sewing projects and remains so today. She was never actually involved in this. It was always me asking myself what would she notice, how did my standards compare against hers.

I also have a style barometer and that's my friend Carolyn. We are poles apart in our likes and dislikes in clothes and if I am trying on something that feels uncomfortable cos its just that little bit different, maybe not quite "me", then I always ask myself what Carolyn would say, what would she say about that particular outfit and whether or not it suited me.

Its great cos I carry around these barometers and others too as advisors wherever I go.  They are always there when I need to check something out.  They are a really positive addition to my life and most of them never even know!  Who are your barometers that you are measuring against?  Do you need more?

Quantity gives quality

I've been writing an article about my India trip tonight and needed some photos to go with it.  I hadn't actually downloaded them yet so I've been squirting nearly 600 shots from my camera into my PC. I'm surprised at how many pics there are.  But then when I look at them there are probably about 20 really good shots, with the right light, exposure, composition etc that I could print and frame and hang on the wall, and then about 20 mediocre ones and the rest are just tourist snaps that we just don't bother printing any more.

This really ilustrates the point from my creativity course last month that in order to be really creative and make good work you have to churn our vast quantities of work and be prepared to throw most of it away.  This can be a bit galling, but when the good stuff is really good then its well worth it.  I took about 50 shots of the sunset over Dal Lake, a famous beauty spot in Srinagar and there are two or three that I am really pleased with, so it was worth the effort to take the rest.

This maxim of quantity giving you quality applies to lots of things in life but we forget this and expect things to be perfect first time.  You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince (believe me I'm still looking) and you may have to try out lots of jobs before you find you ideal post, look at lots of houses before you find your perfect home, practice with lots of salsa partners before you find your perfect match.  So if there's something in your life that's not quite right remember that you probably just haven't tried enough times, not given enough permutations, or not had enough experiences.

So where have you given up too early?  Get out there and do more!

Seabiscuit

Last night, tired and jetlagged, I cut the work and watched a dvd. It was called Seabiscuit - about a famous US racehorse.  Its a fabulous story about achievement and should probably come with a half tissue box warning!  You can read  more about him here http://www.seabiscuitonline.com/index1.htm

One of the great messages of the film was that this little horse just kept winning against the bigger guys cos he just didn't think of himself as small. In reality he was only a small pony and with the right techniques and encouragement he was winning races against much bigger thoroughbreds.

It made me think about how small we all often think we are.  The smallest cog in a great wheel, the lowliest person in your team, the one making the smallest contribution to anything. And if that is the way that we continue to think about ourselves then that is the way that we'll end up. I could think about myself as just a freelance trainer but I know that what I do amounts to much more than that. What I do makes a big difference to people's lives so I am not JUST a trainer.

Maybe you are saying to yourself "But I am ONLY...."  " I am JUST...." Listen to your own language. If you are talking yourself down why would you expect anyone else to give you space on this planet. Its time to stop talking small and start thinking bigger.  About your life, your career, your hopes and aspirations.  You can be like Seabiscuit and take on the big guys and win.

In great company

Today I have been with all of my Springboard, Spring Forward, Fresh Steps and Navigator chums at our annual get together in Rugby.  I came away from the day feeling as if I was glowing with a sort of "ready brek" glow both internally and externally.  This is because I had been in great company all day. In the company of people who are positive, care about what they do and about other people.  People like this who enjoy what they do and who are enthusiastic lift our mood. Its great to be with them as you feel better.

A while ago I noticed this and did a clear out of my friends. I chose not to spend time with those who sapped my energy and dampened my mood.  I didn't really do anything interventional, just didn't ring or email them. And they never really contacted me so its was clear where all the energy was coming from to keep the relationhsip going.  I now spend time with friends who are positive and supportive where we are both gaining from the relationship.

Who are you spending your time with?  How do you feel with those people?  Are you in great company or are your friends and family sapping your energy?  Its time to choose those positive relationships over the negative ones.  You won't miss the negative ones when they are gone but you sure will benefit from spending more time with positive people.

Thanks to Jane, the Lizzes, Sarah, Helen, Kay, Janet, Debbie, Moira, Cath, Jenny, Julia, Marie, Bernadette, Patricia, Chris, Jan, Hugh, Celia, Nicky, George, Kathy and everyone else for being my GangPositive!