BlogPositive

Make me smile

So its the end of the week today.  Time to reflect.  I'd like to reflect on what made me smile this week.

Getting a note from a friend calling himself "right tardy" for taking so long to reply to me. As I read it I could hear him saying it and it made me smile.

Getting a text from a friend calling me "romantic" - with a small "r", after I'd likened myself to the scarlet pimpernel.  As I'm away so much its hard to pin me down.  Being called "romantic" with a small "r" made me smile.

Talking last night to a coaching client who is now taking on the world.  She now realises that she WILL have a fabulous life and SHE will make that happen.  She says I've created a monster.  That made me smile but its her who has changed her life not me.

Having a bacon sandwich for breakfast today.  Its something different from my usual breakfast and makes today special.  And its nicer than toast.

Getting brilliant feedback from a client on an evaluation report I'd written for him.  I could hear the smile on his face as I was listening to his message.  Hearing his smile made me smile.

Driving along the newly opened Haydon Bridge bypass.  In the morning it was all roadworks and cones.  On the way home it was smooth tarmac and a graceful curving road with new vistas across fields.  That made me whoop with joy not just smile after a year of traffic lights, speed restrictions and queues.

What things made you smile this week?  What was it about that event that provoked the smile?  Does remembering it now make you smile again?  What can you do to bring more of those events into your life so there are more smiles every day?  Have a really smiley weekend!!

Moments of bliss

"Oh how to describe those moments of bliss" quoted a character in a radio drama this evening.  You may wonder to what she referred.  Well in fact it was watching a film with a really good friend in a very comfortable seat with delicious refreshments.

When you seek enjoyment and gladness it doesn't have to be an earth shattering event. I've found joy in the last few days in seeing the Cumbrian mountains from the train, a hug from a good friend, an email from a client telling me of their success, some feedback on my newsletter and my own success in winning though to the presentation stage of a tender process from a field of 90.   I've also really enjoyed some crunchy tasty oatcakes, seeing my junior neighbours careering past on their bikes and a vase of daffodils in a cafe.

Moments of bliss have a great effect on the brain, releasing loads of feel good chemicals. They also give you your very own bliss archive.  Those memories are stored away and always available to you.  When you think about those past joyful events your brain also produces feel good chemicals.  So a moment of bliss is actually forever, filed for access whenever you want to re-create that feeling of joy, gladness and happiness.

What moments of bliss have you enjoyed this week?  What archive moments of bliss can you re-create today?

Vote for happiness!!

The Mind Gym award an academic prize for the best research on positive psychology.  You can look at short videos prepared by this years short list entrants and post your vote here.

My vote went to the Happiness research.  If there is one thing that almost everyone wants on my development programmes its to be happier. I'm delighted to see that the research backs up my gut feeling - that having more things doesn't make you  happy.  When I look around at the people I know the ones that have always seemed the happiest are the ones having more experiences, doing more things, interacting with more and different people, travelling, doing new things and trying out new ideas, expanding their experiences.

Its great cos it now shows that you can do things to make you happy.  As the guy says " The take-home message: to become happier, start doing something new. If you do it well, and also vary how, when, and where you do it, then you can gain lasting benefits."

What new things can you do this week that will make you happier.  How can you vary the new things you did last week to keep this new state of happiness?

Perfect 10

Well the nice people at the NECC have changed their course evaluation forms.  When asked how likely they were to reccommend the course to a friend I scored straight 10s today.  This brought their whole week's averages soaring up so its a great end to the week for them.  I'm also particuarly pleased as its been a very busy week and I was very tired today,

As trainers we get external verification almost every time we do any work.  Its great to have all those positive strokes but do we really need them?  I guess we all need to be told that we are doing a good job even when we already know.  I can feel when things are going right so although I like the eval forms I really want them so that the client can see that it all went really well, cos they are not usually in the room.

How do you know if things are going well?  What do you feel?  What do you hear?  What do you see?  If you can capture that then you'll need less external verification and can plan to be your own best supporter, giving yourself positive feedback whenever necessary.  What did you do well today?

Welsh Rarebits

On the train yesterday I encountered a group of women heading to Edinburgh.  They were "girls on tour" with their sequinned red dragon T shirts and bottles of coke laced with vodka.  They had ended up in the "quiet coach" and upset people with their high spirits, good humour and loud jokes and laughter.  They were enjoying themselves, having a great time.  They had abandoned husbands, children, work and responsibilities to let their hair down, relax and get away for the weekend.

Although I have to admit that it was a lot more peaceful when they moved to the next carriage, I admire them for their attitude.  In the face of disapproval they were just being themselves, not modulating their behaviour, moulding it into what everyone else expected from a group of women probably aged from 30 to their late 40s.  It was very refreshing to see.  Yes I sympathise with the passengers who wanted a quiet journey, but hey, it was Friday afternoon, the country was at a standstill becaue of the weather - its OK to have some fun sometimes.

And how different would people's reactions have been if it had been a group of men?  When I eventually got off the train I walked down the platform to find their carriage and held up a written note to the window that read "Have a great time!  Enjoy!".  Go girls!

When did you last let your hair down, abandon all inhibitions and let go?  What would happen if you did?

Proud to be Australian

The BBC announced this morning that the difference between the minimum temperature in the UK and the maximum temperature in Sydney was around 60 degrees.  Thats an amazing fact.  They then interviewed a number of Australians, asking them if they wanted to swap their heatwave for the snowy environment in the UK.  Not surprisingly they all said no.  One said "I'm proud to be Australian and I love my country.  I wouldn't swap it for anywhere".

I thought how refreshing it was to hear someone express that sort of pride.  I've very rarely heard anyone say that about Britain.  Somehow its become unfashionable to express pride, and not just pride in your country either.  How unusual is it for you to express pride in anything - your work, your children, your successes, your home or garden or creative projects, your friends or the support that they give you.

So just for a minute think of what you're proud of.  I'm proud of what I've achieved with my work - bringing opportunites for development to so many women.  I'm also proud of my course particpants for the many amazing things that they go on to achieve.  I'm proud of all my climbing and skiing friends who keep in touch when often I can't get out and join them because of work pressures.  I'm proud of taking the circulation of my newsletter to over 700 and I'm proud of my independance.

What are you proud of?  What does that tell you about yourself?  Who will you tell about that pride tomorrow? 

Exhaust knocking?

Today I took the car to the garage and got my exhaust sorted. It was a minor bit of work, took them about half an hour. It had been knocking really badly until the pipe-work warmed up and more recently even after that. It sounded dreadful and was really irritating. Its been niggling at me for about 2 months. I would notice it as I drove away from the house and then forget it as soon as I got out of the car. But it was steadily getting worse and a friend remarked on it recently. It was a terrible noise, sounded as it something big was falling apart.

However despite all this and knowing exactly what it was, it took me two months to sort it out. Now its great. Sounds much better, no knocking, nice and smooth no matter how fast I go around bends. Its was so easy why didn't I do it ages ago?

Well there are many, many things in life that that. They are small and niggly and you don't sort them out. They needle and irritate and have the potential to become bigger issues if not dealt with. You know the sort of thing. Your partner never filling the car with petrol, your mates always getting the round in and getting you the wrong drink, your kids inviting friends around on homework nights, your boss assuming you'll do the overtime cos you are the only woman without children, your colleagues never filling the photocopier with paper or toner. Its these little things that don't get dealt with that can gnaw away at you leading to a flare up or can become a bigger issue like when you have limited time to catch a train and the car needs petrol on the way.

Just think how much better life could be if you dealt with those small issues today. Think how much smoother your day would be. Think how much stress you could remove with just one small adjustment. Think how easy it would be to address it.

What small niggly issue are you dealing with today? How will you reward yourself when its sorted.

Making Dreams Come True

Today one of my long desired dreams came true. I clipped into my skis outside my back door and skied off down into the village to the Post Office. Skiing from the back door is something I've wanted to do for a long time. We have a lot less snow in Cumbria than we used to so I've had to wait 6 years for the opportunity. Although there have been times when we've had sufficient snow before, I've always been away from home. Everyone in the village now think that I'm mad but I really enjoyed the experience. And it was a superb work-out too; I got home glowing and very very warm from the exercise. Later I was talking with a friend and she said how lucky I was to be able to do that. Well surprisingly I don't really believe in luck. Either you've sent an intention out to the universe that has delivered what you wanted or it's a combination of preparation meeting opportunity. I've been preparing for years; getting the right kit, learning the techniques, building confidence, watching and learning about the weather and the snow. And the opportunity was created because of the way that I've been managing my work. I'm having more concentrated periods of work and therefore longer periods at home. So to create your own luck you need to be preparing so that when that opportunity arises you are ready to jump right in. What's your heart's desire? What are you doing now to be ready when that opportunity presents itself?

Be like a child for a while

I've had friends staying over the weekend and its been great fun. We were up late chatting last night and I went outside to check on the weather. It was snowing which I find SO exciting. So I summoned everyone else to come and look. We were like a bunch of kids, wondering what it would be like tomorrow, would there be enough for me to get my skis out, for the boys to make a snowman, what would the roads be like, and how long would it last. Its really refreshing to get back to those pure feelings of excitement, wonder, joy and sheer enjoyment that we had when we were young. As adults all too often we are far too grown up. We think it's not seemly to whoop with joy and leap about excitedly, to rush outside into the snow without a coat, to just laugh and giggle sometimes for no reason at all. We spend too much time being responsible, sensible, organised and often just plain boring. So I say in the run up to the busy holiday season its time to rediscover the things that give you a child-like delight and to simply enjoy those moments when you are doing these things. Life is far too short to be sensible all the time. Loose a whole load of years for half an hour. What made you squeal with joy when you were 7 and 8? Go out and do that now!!!

Be spontaneous

It's great to be focused and have a plan to achieve your goals. Having to-do lists and knowing what you have to achieve every day is a great motivator. Knowing where you are going keeps you moving in the right direction. However it's also important to find time for spontaneity. We can start to feel hemmed in and restricted if we stick rigidly to our plans and don't take advantages of opportunities that might come along. Taking the spontaneous path sometimes can leave us refreshed and invigorated. We may gain new momentum and encounter fresh ideas. Whatever else happens we get a beneficial change of environment and do things differently. This weekend is allocated to catching up on admin. I've been really busy over the last few weeks and have had very little time for being organised. Those day-to-day things that need keeping an eye on in the office just don't get done when you are actually out of the office most of the time. So far I've been pretty productive, getting some stuff in the post, dealing with the incoming mail, getting expenses sorted out. Then I decided to have a break and go out. Its brilliantly sunny here and although its cold, I really wanted to be outside. I've spent too many days inside when the weather has been really inviting. So I took my sacks and headed off to the wood to collect fire-lighting sticks. I always keep a stock indoors and they are starting to get low. I was rewarded by the sight of a deeply coloured red squirrel scurrying away up a tree as I passed and several pheasants taking flight at my approach. The floor in the wood is really yielding with fallen leaves until I reached the north facing slopes where the ground was still all frozen. That really brought home to me just how cold it has been. Having got back I am feeling invigorated and ready to grab some lunch and get on with all the things that are still waiting to be done. What have you done spontaneously this week? What can you do today that you weren't planning?

Happy pets

.or rather pets make you happy Swimming with dolphins can reduce depression. So says an article in the British Medical Journal. So how does this work then? Well its all about your limbic system. Quick anatomy lesson here..your brain is made up of three areas that arose sequentially over time during evolution. The oldest part of the brain is the area that connects to the top of your spinal cord - the hind brain or reptilian brain. This bit of the brain is responsible for many of our automatic reactions such as the fight or flight response. The next oldest part or mid brain is the limbic system. This bit of the brain is made up of several structures and they mostly have roles in mediating our emotional responses. This is then connected to our fore brain, the neo-cortex where most of our logical processing happens. This is also the area responsible for much ideas generation. We know that if small babies do not get enough cuddles or contact with a carer or parent then the limbic part of the brain does not develop correctly. In later life they can have difficulties recognising or responding correctly to emotions. There is something about physical contact with people and other mammals such as pets and now seemingly also dolphins that stimulates the limbic system. We all know that we can feel better simply by getting a hug from a good friend and this response is mediated by the limbic system. We can get the same effect by stroking a dog or a cat. This is why there are charities that exist to take pets into hospitals and to interact with those who are physically or emotionally traumatised. There process is also called limbic resonance. We describe this in our rational way as emotional connection. In babies this means that they feel better when they make eye contact with their mothers and both partners in the interaction feel the same way. It is also used to describe moments when you may be experiencing an emotional event and you get a phone call from someone close to you who asks if you are OK. No-one can really explain how that apparent brain to brain connection can work when the two people are not physically close to each other. I find this sort of thing really interesting. So to keep happy, keep making those emotional connections with the people who are important to you. This is one thing that you can't get via the internet, the physical contact is important. And as the BMJ article says it can also help with depression. So have you had enough hugs today? Have you spent time with someone who cares about you? Have you looked into the eyes of a loved one and smiled? If you live alone where is that physical contact going to come from?

Sharing your body with insects

This week I'm on holiday with some friends who have recently moved Stockholm.  There was no way that this was the right time for me to go on holiday. I still have deadlines for a number of high priority projects and important commitments when I get home next week.  However I recognised that I was just about running on empty. All energy used up, no creative capacity left, drained of enthusiasm for my work, having to dig deep to maintain my normal high level of performance.

Therefore this was absolutely the right time to go on holiday, whatever was still waiting to be done.

We have tramped all the way around Stockholm visiting sights, galleries and fabulous eateries.  We have cycled across a nature reserve, taken the train then cycled again to reach an inlet where we hired kayaks and only came in when lightning started and warned us of an impending storm.  Then we had to get home by the same tortuous route.  We have taken a boat trip out to the archipelago, then tramped across one island, rowed across to another and walked to its northernmost tip.  I got eaten alive by voacious midges who wanted our sandwiches as well as most of my arms. Tomorrow I just have the morning before I fly home, so we are now formulating a game plan.

I can already hear some of you saying "Break!  What break?  This is a boot camp!".  Well, what it does achieve, is putting my head into a completely different place where work, deadlines, training courses are a million miles away.  And I am spending time with great friends.  All of this gives me a holiday for the mind.

A holiday for the mind refreshes your thinking, reviatlises you and gives you new insights into your everyday world.  How will you take a holiday for your mind even if you are not actually going away anywhere?  What will you do to put your head in a different place today?  What can you do to refresh your thinking?

Happy Monday?

Its been a fantastic weekend. Great weather, even here in the frozen North I was able to eat all my meals outside.  Then on Saturday I bumped into a Springboard trainer I haven't seen in ages. She says that my newsletter Positive Energy, really helps to keep her going.  In the afternoon I sat outside and finished writing a course that I'm delivering at the end of the month. On Sunday I wrote the evaluation report for last week's work, visited friends in the evening and tidied up the report when I got back.

This morning already……

I was phoned by Graham Simons, journalist ex People Bulletin, now working on The Recruiter for a comment on a news story about new possibilites for flexible working legislation and how that will impact on women.  This will go on their website and I'll put a link in here when its live.

I just got back from the post office, posting off the evaluation report, where people said that they had heard me on BBC Radio Cumbria today doing Thought for the Day.

AND

I had a light bulb moment about the plot for my novel whilst lying in bed before I got up this morning.  Oops how did that slip out........Oh well.

life is all going so well because I believe in it going well. Its like a virtuous circle. The better it is the better it just keep getting.  How good do you believe your life could be?  Now just turn that dial up several notches and make it even better. What a fantastic start to the week that is!

Is your job a party?

Yesterday I had a fantastic day.  I haven't laughed so much in ages.  I was running a Maximising Potential day with 70 women at Essex Police.  These women were energetic, enthusiastic, willing and prepared to step outside their comfort zone and engage fully with what we were doing.  It was an absolutely brilliant day, thanks to their attitude to make make the most from the opportunity.

As I was on the way home back to a surprisingly warm Cumbria I reflected on the fact that I actually felt as if I'd been at a party all day.  Then I remembered I'd been working all day. Not just marking time either but really giving 100% to what I was doing.  It shows if you don't do that.  Yet I still felt as if I'd been at a party!  I had a sense of euphoria, of having spent "quality" time with lovely people, I'd met new friends, some of whom already felt like old friends.  We had all been sharing some magical moments together (any of you reading this will probably remember the one I am referring to in particular!). There had been plenty of good food as well and we enjoyed mingling on the patio.

Its a priviledge to have a job which is like being at a party.  But why not?  Surely we can all enjoy the work that we do.  Surely that enjoyment should be the barometer that you measure against.  If your work joy barometer is sinking what is contributing to this?  Is it time to move on?  Do you need  a new challenge in your exisiting job?  Is it a relationship issue that you should address? Are your achievements being recognised?  Are you rewarding yourself when you are doing well?  Do you have direction and focus?  Do your goals need to be reviewed?  What is it in the organisation that contributes to this feeling?

If you approached your career plans more like you approached a plan for a party what might you be able to achieve? How different would you feel every day going to work if you knew what a fab time you were going to have at work today?  How would it feel to be looking forward to work instead of just knowing it had to be done? What can you do today to make your work day more enjoyable?

Camping in the snow

I've been away with some friends this weekend, walking in the Lake District. Given the weather forecast (snow and freezing temperatures) quite a lot of my non-outdoors friends (and even some of the outdoorsy types) thought I was completely mad.  This was primarily because we were camping.

On Saturday we walked from Glenridding, up the Grizedale valley to Grizedale tarn, then up to the top of Fairfiled and back along the the ridge.  Here we are with a snowy Fairfield in the background, which we had just descended from.

As you can see we are all well wrapped up.  We had a lot of squally hail and snow showers from lunchtime onwards.  Then it snowed continuously from about 7pm until after I'd got into my monster 5 season sleeping bag, fully clothed. I was warm and cosy and it froze hard overnight.  In the morning there were heaps of snow left around the tent where it had slid off during the night.

On Sunday we bimbled around Aira Force in more snow.  I really enjoyed the weekend.  Getting out for a walk and camping out in these sorts of conditions is nothing exceptional for me, having spent numerous holidays in the alps and also visited Peru and Kashmir.  However, judging by the reaction from quite a few people, it was an exceptional thing in their eyes.

We are all exceptional in one way or another.  You only have to be a little bit better at something to be viewed that way by people. Or you have to be doing something that no-one else would think of or attempt to do.  There were some young carers on the radio on Saturday morning. They were as young as 12 being the main carer for a parent. What they are doing is exceptional but they just see it as normal life.  There are probably areas in your life where you have exceptional skills too.

Perhaps you make the best spaghetti bolognaise this side of Rome. Or maybe your car always looks professionally valeted cos you are very good at keeping it spick and span.  Perhaps you have got great talent for learning or helping and inspiring others. Maybe your the best parent, teacher or coach.  Or maybe you are just exceptionally tidy or organised, well prepared or unflappable.

We all have exceptional talents and we should celebrate them.  We feel good when we use those exceptional talents so we should use them as often as we can.  What are your exceptional talents?  How are you going to use them today?

Life's pleasures

This weekend I've been baking.  Making flapjacks and fruit cakes for friends and to take away on my skiing holiday.  There's nothing like an apple and fig flapjack made with muscovado sugar to perk you up when your energy is flagging at the end of a long run.  I have a great fruitcake recipe that involves boiling up the fruit with the sugar and butter but I often put it outside in the freezing cold to cool down and then remember too late when it has all set again.   Recently I boiled it for too long and it caremalised, the resulting cake was fab!

I've really enjoyed all this kitchen activity and one of the reasons is that I haven't done it for ages, made stuff like this, I mean.  All the hurly burly of travel and work tends to overtake me and I don't have time.  Also I have no-one to cook for at home so I usually end up making stuff for friends.  However its great to be there getting my hands dirty again and its reminded me how easy it is to lose sight of those things that we enjoy, either through neglect or being too busy.  So in the run up to Xmas make time for some things that you really enjoy.

What activities do you really enjoy?  When was the last time you did these things?  When are you going to do them again?

Embracing Change

I was completing delivery of a Spring Forward programme in London on Tuesday, had meetings yesterday morning and travelled back on the train in the afternoon.  It was interesting to note the progression of autumn as the train swept North through the countryside.  Most of the trees further South are still green, whereas the trees that I see from my office on this frosty morning are mainly dressed in autumn colours.

I actually love the autumn with its rich colours and harvest plenty, but I know plenty of people who bemoan its coming, unpacking winter warmers and shivering over their Lemsip.  I like it cos it heralds for me the coming of winter and from the first flush of autumn crocus I am waiting for snow.  Also this year it has provided plenty of inspiraiton for my poetry and on the train down to London I scribbled down three more pages towards my collection of equinoctial verse.

However, love it or hate it, autumn follows summer and the winter is hard on its heels.  We can't affect that, its a change that comes at us every year.  Despite that many of us will sit around in denial for ages, clinging to our summer frocks and strappy sandals.  And often that is our reaction to any kind of change, whether happening at work or at home.  Sit tight and it might miss me, hunker down and someone else will deal with it, shout and get angry and they'll do it differently, if I keep doing what I've always done they'll let me carry on that way. 

We all deal with change in a myriad different ways and it is important to recognise that many changes are like a juggernauts heading for us and we cannot stop them or even affect their direction. If that is the case then its going to be a lot less effort to just accept that its happening and find a way to deal with your reaction to it.  After all we all have that winter coat at the back of the wardrobe, its just a case of digging it out and dusting it off.

What are the autumns in your life that are threatening to mow you down?  How are you reacting to them? How can you celebrate that change instead of moaning and whinging about it?  What is your eqivalent of the snow that you can look forward to after the change is over?   

Urban Retreat

Well what do you know, after all the vagaries of transportation in India I arrive home early, we landed perfectly in fog at Heathrow early this morning, only to find the connecting flight to Newcastle cancelled. I am exhausted after a busy time away and an overnight flight and I am now faced with a 4 hour wait and very little sympathy from BA.

Being prepared for the temperature change I have clothes appropriate to 6 degrees rather than 26 degrees in my hand luggage so I take some advice and wander down to international departures. Here I find a haven of peace and comfort, Urban Retreat. At a stroke I have changed a tedious wait into a positive experience. I have a shower with luxury products, change into fresh clothes, get a healthy breakfast and ensconced in a comfy supportive massage chair, set to work on my emails.

So this was achieved by knowing what I wanted (a shower and some peace and quiet), taking advice (nothing in domestic departures go to international) and finally noticing and taking a chance on something new – a bill board on the way into the departure area advertised the place although I still had to ask directions to find it. However before all of that I recognised that here was an opportunity to make good use of time and look after myself – after all I’m worth it! I can’t speak highly enough of Urban Retreat, well worth a visit.

You will have a more positive experience of life if you value yourself and look after yourself properly, after all you are the best person to know how to do that. Planning helps, having clean clothes was really nice, also look for opportunities in possible disasters. When there are things going wrong around you what opportunities do you see ? What have you done in the last week to look after yourself? How much value do you place on your own time?

Lost words - again

The other day I was talking to a man who runs a small business.  All of his staff are female, about 8 or 9 or them.  He is a great supporter of women's development but mystified about the apparent lack of confidence of his staff.  He tells them repeatedly that they are doing a great job and from my dealings with them I know that they all do a highly professional job and I have a lot of respect for their skills and experience.

Yet he says that the first thing they do in the morning is apologise - they say "Sorry" as if they are apologising for their own existence.  When I pondered on this I realised that I hear this happening a lot. Women will often say sorry as a way of opening a sentence, before we even know what the other person's reaction is going to be.  If we went around and counted how many times at work we hear our male colleagues saying sorry and compare that with how many times we hear our female colleagues saying sorry I think that we'd find that we win hands down.

Also because it is such a habitual speech pattern we do not even hear ourselves saying it - let alone recognise how it diminishes us.  Can you remember the last time you said sorry and really meant it?  Yes of course you can.  Can you remember the last time you used the word - probably not, because its part of the regular landscape of your speech.  It was probably only ten minutes ago, or at least earlier in the day.  So its time to take action.

This is the next word that I want you to strike from your vocabulary, except when there is a genuine reason to be sorry, real regret.  First you need to build awareness and start to notice yourself saying it.  Then you need to catch yourself about to say it and decide that it is a positive thing to find another word or just lose the sorry and don't replace it.  You will feel much stronger if you do not go around apologising unnecessarily for yourself the whole time.  You have as much right to be you as the next man.

A 13 year old moment

A 13 year old moment

I’ve been watching Sex in the City.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before as I don’t have a TV and rarely watch when I am in away hotels, as I am usually still working in the evenings. However they were talking about being 34, yet having a 13 year old moment and I thought what a fabulous idea that was.

I know that sometimes I really want to step aside from being grown up and have some 13 year old time.  A time when there are no responsibilities, no car to service or rent to pay. Some time when life stretches before me like a blank sheet of paper, waiting to be filled with exciting adventures. Some time when life contains more fun and less worry, more hopes and fewer fears.

And we can all do that. We can all decide to have some time when we are going to act as if we were 13 again and there was so much potential ahead of us. Just think what we could accomplish if we believed that some of our best achievements were yet to come, that we were still at the beginning of an exciting lifetime, that there was still so much more to look forward to.  Try it and see how it feels. 

Or you could ask yourself next time you are wrestling with a problem or issue - How would I react or approach this if I was 13, what decisions would I make, how would I see things differently?

That 13 year old is still there inside all of us, get your 13 year old to help you.

Eat strawberries every day!

I do, well pretty much every day.  Today I had strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, plums, grapes and pear for breakfast.  Its sometimes a bit of a challenge in January but you can usually find strawberries in the shops year round. I do it because I really like them, they are really healthy to eat and I do not believe that this sort of luxury should be kept only for Wimbledon week.  So many times you might find yourself yearning for that little luxury item or activity only to dismiss it as only being for Sundays, not allowed to have it if you haven't been working hard, can't do it today cos the money was allocated to buy toilet roll.

I say stuff all of that. Allow yourself some degree of luxury regularly and you will find yourself feeling great. It will really boost your self esteem. It doesn't matter if its buying expensive soap every now and again, picking the supermarket "finest" label this week instead of the "everyday", swapping your newspaper for a magazine or eating strawberries every day.  It may cost you nothing if your luxury is a walk in the fresh air admiring a view.  Whatever it is give yourself permission to regularly pamper yourself just that little bit and you'll feel fantastic.

After all if your best friend came for breakfast you'd want to give them strawberries, so why treat yourself less well than you do your friends. Make every day special and there is so much more to live for.

An exciting new beginning

So here I am at last. I am so excited by what is happening in my life and work that I need to share it all with you more than I can with just my newsletter Positive Energy.  That will continue to go out every month with positive hints and tips to keep you moving forward positvely (got to finish this month's as soon as I have done this posting, sorry Sarah and Chantal).  There is more happening every day that is exciting and positive that can't wait a month to be shared.  Here I'll be telling you positive stories from my life, thoughts that I have had that might help you and anything else that drifts into my creative brain late at night or early in the morning.