BlogPositive

Vote for happiness!!

The Mind Gym award an academic prize for the best research on positive psychology.  You can look at short videos prepared by this years short list entrants and post your vote here.

My vote went to the Happiness research.  If there is one thing that almost everyone wants on my development programmes its to be happier. I'm delighted to see that the research backs up my gut feeling - that having more things doesn't make you  happy.  When I look around at the people I know the ones that have always seemed the happiest are the ones having more experiences, doing more things, interacting with more and different people, travelling, doing new things and trying out new ideas, expanding their experiences.

Its great cos it now shows that you can do things to make you happy.  As the guy says " The take-home message: to become happier, start doing something new. If you do it well, and also vary how, when, and where you do it, then you can gain lasting benefits."

What new things can you do this week that will make you happier.  How can you vary the new things you did last week to keep this new state of happiness?

Be like a child for a while

I've had friends staying over the weekend and its been great fun. We were up late chatting last night and I went outside to check on the weather. It was snowing which I find SO exciting. So I summoned everyone else to come and look. We were like a bunch of kids, wondering what it would be like tomorrow, would there be enough for me to get my skis out, for the boys to make a snowman, what would the roads be like, and how long would it last. Its really refreshing to get back to those pure feelings of excitement, wonder, joy and sheer enjoyment that we had when we were young. As adults all too often we are far too grown up. We think it's not seemly to whoop with joy and leap about excitedly, to rush outside into the snow without a coat, to just laugh and giggle sometimes for no reason at all. We spend too much time being responsible, sensible, organised and often just plain boring. So I say in the run up to the busy holiday season its time to rediscover the things that give you a child-like delight and to simply enjoy those moments when you are doing these things. Life is far too short to be sensible all the time. Loose a whole load of years for half an hour. What made you squeal with joy when you were 7 and 8? Go out and do that now!!!

Be spontaneous

It's great to be focused and have a plan to achieve your goals. Having to-do lists and knowing what you have to achieve every day is a great motivator. Knowing where you are going keeps you moving in the right direction. However it's also important to find time for spontaneity. We can start to feel hemmed in and restricted if we stick rigidly to our plans and don't take advantages of opportunities that might come along. Taking the spontaneous path sometimes can leave us refreshed and invigorated. We may gain new momentum and encounter fresh ideas. Whatever else happens we get a beneficial change of environment and do things differently. This weekend is allocated to catching up on admin. I've been really busy over the last few weeks and have had very little time for being organised. Those day-to-day things that need keeping an eye on in the office just don't get done when you are actually out of the office most of the time. So far I've been pretty productive, getting some stuff in the post, dealing with the incoming mail, getting expenses sorted out. Then I decided to have a break and go out. Its brilliantly sunny here and although its cold, I really wanted to be outside. I've spent too many days inside when the weather has been really inviting. So I took my sacks and headed off to the wood to collect fire-lighting sticks. I always keep a stock indoors and they are starting to get low. I was rewarded by the sight of a deeply coloured red squirrel scurrying away up a tree as I passed and several pheasants taking flight at my approach. The floor in the wood is really yielding with fallen leaves until I reached the north facing slopes where the ground was still all frozen. That really brought home to me just how cold it has been. Having got back I am feeling invigorated and ready to grab some lunch and get on with all the things that are still waiting to be done. What have you done spontaneously this week? What can you do today that you weren't planning?

Urban Retreat

Well what do you know, after all the vagaries of transportation in India I arrive home early, we landed perfectly in fog at Heathrow early this morning, only to find the connecting flight to Newcastle cancelled. I am exhausted after a busy time away and an overnight flight and I am now faced with a 4 hour wait and very little sympathy from BA.

Being prepared for the temperature change I have clothes appropriate to 6 degrees rather than 26 degrees in my hand luggage so I take some advice and wander down to international departures. Here I find a haven of peace and comfort, Urban Retreat. At a stroke I have changed a tedious wait into a positive experience. I have a shower with luxury products, change into fresh clothes, get a healthy breakfast and ensconced in a comfy supportive massage chair, set to work on my emails.

So this was achieved by knowing what I wanted (a shower and some peace and quiet), taking advice (nothing in domestic departures go to international) and finally noticing and taking a chance on something new – a bill board on the way into the departure area advertised the place although I still had to ask directions to find it. However before all of that I recognised that here was an opportunity to make good use of time and look after myself – after all I’m worth it! I can’t speak highly enough of Urban Retreat, well worth a visit.

You will have a more positive experience of life if you value yourself and look after yourself properly, after all you are the best person to know how to do that. Planning helps, having clean clothes was really nice, also look for opportunities in possible disasters. When there are things going wrong around you what opportunities do you see ? What have you done in the last week to look after yourself? How much value do you place on your own time?

A 13 year old moment

A 13 year old moment

I’ve been watching Sex in the City.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before as I don’t have a TV and rarely watch when I am in away hotels, as I am usually still working in the evenings. However they were talking about being 34, yet having a 13 year old moment and I thought what a fabulous idea that was.

I know that sometimes I really want to step aside from being grown up and have some 13 year old time.  A time when there are no responsibilities, no car to service or rent to pay. Some time when life stretches before me like a blank sheet of paper, waiting to be filled with exciting adventures. Some time when life contains more fun and less worry, more hopes and fewer fears.

And we can all do that. We can all decide to have some time when we are going to act as if we were 13 again and there was so much potential ahead of us. Just think what we could accomplish if we believed that some of our best achievements were yet to come, that we were still at the beginning of an exciting lifetime, that there was still so much more to look forward to.  Try it and see how it feels. 

Or you could ask yourself next time you are wrestling with a problem or issue - How would I react or approach this if I was 13, what decisions would I make, how would I see things differently?

That 13 year old is still there inside all of us, get your 13 year old to help you.