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Late night breakfast

Its been really busy - maybe I have said that before......Anyway, I'm working late and getting up early and in severe danger of not looking after myself.  So I've started making my breakfast before I go to bed.  Not eating it like we all did when we were students (cornflakes at midnight) but preparing it all so that all I have to do in the morning is assemble it. 

I have chopped up fruit and yoghurt with ground up seeds.  What I've noticed though is that time seems to work differently at night from the way that it works in the morning.  When I prepare all of this at night it take about 10-15  minutes.  In the morning it seems to take much longer. And that's nothing to do with me being half awake, cos I am actually a morning person.

Whatever the time is doing though, just making this one really small change to my routine has made a big difference. I feel much more relaxed in the morning and I know I'll have time for a proper breakfast.  If you want to make changes in your life to feel better, be less stressed or achieve more success, you don't need to make great big leaps.  Just tweaking things slightly will often take you a long way in the direction you want to go.  It will feel much safer to take those small steps as well.  And you are more likely to stay with the change if its only a small change, rather than lapsing back into old habits.

So what one small thing can you change today that would make a big difference to your quality of life?

Snow bound

Did you give up trying to get to work today? As I work at home I didn't have that problem, but I did have to get into town for an appointment. There is about 6 inches of snow outside and I cleared the car with a brush. I knew that the journey would split into 3 bits in terms of difficulty. Firstly getting out along our drive and onto the road. Driving on fresh snow that only a few vehicles have passed over. Interesting and a bit like a slow waltz. The second bit down into the village was about the hairiest bit - a steep hill down and still lots of snow on the road. Then several miles on slippy back roads and after that plain sailing as I was onto the main A road. However none of it was really difficult or dangerous. Yes I slithered around a bit, but the road wasn't busy so it wasn't an issue. Yes I had difficulty getting the last 10 yards back to the house. But that was right here and the neighbours could have pushed if needs be. In fact that is just what we've been doing when one of my neighbours slewed into the bank just now. So I'm very glad that I went out and didn't just give up even before I'd started. Having that attitude of just having a go, see what happens, I'm sure I'll cope really helps. It's all too easy to just sit on the sidelines and believe that you can't achieve things. That attitude in life will not even take you outside your front door, let alone onto the promotion, fantastic new job, brilliant new life that you have always wanted. So if it's in the snow or in your life, just give it a go.

When would you give up?

I had an interesting day in Thursday. I flew to Bristol to get to a meeting in Devon. After two aborted landings in fog, we got re-routed and I ended up in Birmingham. We sat on the tarmac for ages before the captain made a decision to fly us back to Bristol. I worked out that by the time we had got clearance and actually got back it would too late for me to make it by bus and train to my meeting. I therefore asked to get off the plane. The EasyJet staff were quite shocked by this. Clearly its an irregular request and they didn't really have a procedure. However once I had said I wanted to get off so did 5 other people.

So I got off and hired a car to drive to Devon. Then the M5 was closed. Although I avoided this, thanks to information from my world class PA, the A roads around the diversion were still very congested. I did finally reach my destination about 2 hours late and was able to have my meeting.

However a lot of other people would have given up. How much determination do you have to keep going when the going gets tough? What would it actually take to make you give up? Do you give up too easily? Do you keep going when its hopeless?

Sometimes you have to make apparently foolish decisions in the face of difficult circumstances. But at least you have done something to keep moving forwards. The most frustrating time for me on Thursday was sitting on the tarmac. If you are not moving do something, anything to change the situation..

New Year Revolutions

We live in the age of recycling and reusing.  At this time of year everyone is rushing around trying to keep to thier new year resulotions or trying to make some up if they got left out of the New Year hurly burly.  Trying here of course is the operative word.  And the problem with it is that as long as you tell yourself you are trying, that is all you will do.  You will keep trying and possibly never actually succeed. 

Its a very plucky thing to do, just keep trying.  Well I say that never mind new resolutions, just recycle the ones that you already have.  How's that for a revolution!  Well its easy really.  How many times last year did you say to yourself "I really must stop doing that" or maybe "I must rememebr that when I do X I need to do it that way" or maybe "I really should do X or Y this week". 

So my new year revolution is to advise you to just recycle all of those everyday resolutions that you made at any time last year.  These are only small things and they can make a big difference to your life.  Achieving suuccess in these small things, rather than just trying, will make you feel good about yourself and will spur you on to greater challenges.  And because they are small things they are not intimidating or difficult to achieve.

So get out all those tired old resolutions, dust them off and get cracking!!

Move along the bus

I've been on the bus to Newcastle today to see some clients. It's about a 90 minutes journey and on the outward trip I was almost the first on the bus so could sit right at the front. I can suffer from travel sickness so I like to be able to see where I am going. On the way back the bus was much busier and I ended up near the back. My window was covered with a logo on the outside. Looking through it was like peering through mesh and made me feel queasy. As soon as I could I moved to the next row forwards. I really wanted to be nearer to the front but there were no seats available. However, gradually, as people got off I was able to move first a few rows, then a few more until finally I had the seat I wanted. This didn't take too long and I spent most of the journey in the place that I wanted. That's actually how most of us make progress in life. It's about taking opportunities as they arrive, moving forwards in small steps towards where you want to be. Sometimes, as I did, you might have to move from side to side to get to your ultimate seat, but each of those moves takes you closer to the front and gives you a fresh outlook. Of course if a space does come up right at the front then its great to leap right for it, cos you never know who is going to get on next and take that seat ahead of you. If you don't leap, even if you're not quite ready to move, then there may not be any seats when you are ready. Don't walk away from any opportunities without considering them. You never know just when they'll come past again. Where is the seat that you ultimately want to travel in? What steps did you take towards it today?

Being superwoman

I was working with some senior women in the Midlands this week. It was the end of our programme and we were taking some feedback. One woman said that she had been a bit anxious about being invited to attend as she knew quite a lot of the names on the list. She thought that they were all superwomen who she may not be able to measure up to. Once she arrived and got to know everyone she realised that they were all normal people. They were good at their jobs and juggling busy lives, just like she was. She felt really relieved but then had a light bulb moment. If she was sitting in the room with all these supposed "superwomen" then maybe she was a superwoman too! She asked some of the other women and they said that they really admired everything that she achieved and the way that she had a great relationship with her staff and actually got huge amounts done. At the end of the day she went home feeling fantastic as she'd become a superwoman simply by being herself and associating with other successful people. Anyone can be a super-person. In fact you may be a superwoman or superman in someone else's eyes, yet not realise it. You won't know until you ask. And if you were a super-person what would you change? Now go and start work on that - you know you have the powers!

Posh cups of coffee

I was at the garage today and tramped in to the usual office.  I've had my cars fixed there for 5 years or so and know all the staff pretty well. Its a family business and everyone is really friendly.  One of the guys came to fetch me and take me proudly to their brand new reception office.  This is a newly built extension, freshly carpeted and painted with a shiny new coffee making machine.  We discussed the merits of the various brands of coffee.

Despite tthe fact that this was much nicer than the other office I still felt a bit uncomfortable. It wasn't where I was used to being when I was at the garage.  It wasn't my normal familiar space.  It was much warmer and more welcoming and still somehow not quite right.

Its suprising how we become enfolded in our comfort zone and even when offered something better we are reluctant to step away from that.  As we get older we often become even more reluctant to try new things. Yet this is something that we should be encouraged to do more of.  Try new things, lots of new things, try something new every day. The more new things you do the easier it is to do new things.  The more new things you do, the easier it is to escape that fur lined rut that you might be lying in.  Your brain loves new things.  It gleefully makes new connections every time it encounters something new.

What new things will you do today?  What new feast will you offer your brain today?  What small step will you take outside your comfort zone?

Embracing Change

I was completing delivery of a Spring Forward programme in London on Tuesday, had meetings yesterday morning and travelled back on the train in the afternoon.  It was interesting to note the progression of autumn as the train swept North through the countryside.  Most of the trees further South are still green, whereas the trees that I see from my office on this frosty morning are mainly dressed in autumn colours.

I actually love the autumn with its rich colours and harvest plenty, but I know plenty of people who bemoan its coming, unpacking winter warmers and shivering over their Lemsip.  I like it cos it heralds for me the coming of winter and from the first flush of autumn crocus I am waiting for snow.  Also this year it has provided plenty of inspiraiton for my poetry and on the train down to London I scribbled down three more pages towards my collection of equinoctial verse.

However, love it or hate it, autumn follows summer and the winter is hard on its heels.  We can't affect that, its a change that comes at us every year.  Despite that many of us will sit around in denial for ages, clinging to our summer frocks and strappy sandals.  And often that is our reaction to any kind of change, whether happening at work or at home.  Sit tight and it might miss me, hunker down and someone else will deal with it, shout and get angry and they'll do it differently, if I keep doing what I've always done they'll let me carry on that way. 

We all deal with change in a myriad different ways and it is important to recognise that many changes are like a juggernauts heading for us and we cannot stop them or even affect their direction. If that is the case then its going to be a lot less effort to just accept that its happening and find a way to deal with your reaction to it.  After all we all have that winter coat at the back of the wardrobe, its just a case of digging it out and dusting it off.

What are the autumns in your life that are threatening to mow you down?  How are you reacting to them? How can you celebrate that change instead of moaning and whinging about it?  What is your eqivalent of the snow that you can look forward to after the change is over?   

It's not what you wear

I think that boys have it easy.  When you go off to visit new cultures you don't have the constant worries about what is and isn't safe to wear.  Am I allowed to show arms or legs?  Should my head be covered?  I had just such a discussion with myself coming out here to India.  In the end I decided that I should just wear what I always wear, which tends to be comfortable trousers and tops.  That's me and I feel happy dressed that way and it shouldn't offend anyone.

One of the things that I have found really positive about getting older is that I no longer really worry about what other people think about my clothes.  I feel much more comfortable than I used to just being me, without needing to conform to norms (which I never really did - except the student one with the tatty jeans and afghan coat) or dress for someone else.  OK I'll admit that I still do that sometimes but I'm completely aware of what I'm doing (and it usually has the desired effect!).

In fact India is such a melting pot of traditional and modern that it doesn't really matter what you wear.  My host is in Indian dresses and her doctor daughter has just come back form work in jeans.  So being me was the right choice.  Where are you still conforming and not being you?  How much longer are you going to go on doing that?  How much older will you need to be be be before you are comfortable being you?  Why not start being you today - remember Jenny Jones - get out your purple!

Building buttons

Its not a normal day here at all.  My neigbours are moving to the beautiful town of Wooler and the removal men are here.  I have just been to my doctor and they've taken some blood to find out if I'm ill or just getting older! And I'm finally getting back into my online bank accounts after my laptop was stolen in May. And all of this on very little sleep cos I was up till 3am working on the blog.

The blogosphere and web are all about linking. I'm a kind and helpful person and I have had so much excellent feedback on the blog content from all of you, my loyal readers, that I'd like to let more people know about the blog so they can also live more positively.  So I have started listing in blog directories.  When I started this I thought it would be an easy job.  Then I found out that I had to build back links with buttons and clever html stuff.  I was a bit hesitant about this as its not something that I've done before and all the clever stuff on the web site is done by Sylvia, my indispensible right-hand woman.

So I first of all just attacked it using the techniques that I'd used for adding other stuff like the website links. This didn't work properly.  Then (at about midnight) I read all of the stuff in the Typepad knowledge base and after translating it into non-technospeak I thought I knew what to do.  My first couple of attempts at the coding didn't work but then I had a light bulb moment and it all fell into place.  It's a sort of work around as there is no easy way of doing this in Typepad.  But the result is all the button links that you can find by scrolling down on the right below the daily cartoon. As we are accepted into the directories I'll update these so you can go right to our entry and vote or rate this blog.

My sense of achievement is huge over this.  And I was really hesitant about doing it, it didn't work properly the first few times but I knew that it should be do-able.  So lessons for us all here in terms of actually just getting stuck in.  It also absolutley typical of me to charge in without reading the instructions so if you are like that don't give yourself a hard time - cos I actually had it about half right in the way that I first tried. And I knew that when I'd done it I'd feel really proud.  Stepping outside your comfort zone and trying something new can be intimidating but if you don't take that first step you will never reach your goal.

Its all make believe!

Here in Orlando its all make believe.  I am surrounded by theme parks. Pretend typhoons, waterfalls, castles, caves, ships etc etc  Last night I even saw some real alligators in a pretend lagoon.

Just listen to the phrase - make believe, put a small pause in between the words, and you will get a better sense of what it is about. We are making ourselves believe something. This process involves our brains and it works so well because our brains have trouble separating what is real from what is make believe. So we can choose the type of make believe that we have in our brains. You can choose to make a really good internal world where you are successful and happy or you can choose to make a world where everything is great for you, going just as you want it to.

When your make believe is to tell yourself that you are really confident, feeling strong and moving positively into the future then your body will comply with what your brain is demanding and you are already outwardly becoming confident, strong and positive.

What positive, supportive and helpful make believe will you experience today?

Not making a decision

I've bought a new car!  For most of us this is an exciting event and it is also for me. I phoned a couple of friends to tell them about this and the response that I got surprised me. "Boring" "How predictable" "What not another one!"  This is all due to the fact that my new car is in fact the same car again. This will by my third lime green fast "boy-racer" Seat Ibiza and that is why I am being called predictable.

What I actually did was not make a decision. I have not had time to consider what new car I should get so when this one just fell into my lap it seemed a good idea to just go with it and avoid that decision for a few years longer.

In fact I did make a decision - not to make a decision - and its certainly OK to do that if you don't feel that you have the time, space or information to  make a decision. At least if you decide not to decide you can redirect your energies elsewhere rather than continually nagging yourself about the decision that needs to be made.

So what do you need to not make a decision about so that you can allow yourself to move on in other areas.