BlogPositive

Moments of bliss

"Oh how to describe those moments of bliss" quoted a character in a radio drama this evening.  You may wonder to what she referred.  Well in fact it was watching a film with a really good friend in a very comfortable seat with delicious refreshments.

When you seek enjoyment and gladness it doesn't have to be an earth shattering event. I've found joy in the last few days in seeing the Cumbrian mountains from the train, a hug from a good friend, an email from a client telling me of their success, some feedback on my newsletter and my own success in winning though to the presentation stage of a tender process from a field of 90.   I've also really enjoyed some crunchy tasty oatcakes, seeing my junior neighbours careering past on their bikes and a vase of daffodils in a cafe.

Moments of bliss have a great effect on the brain, releasing loads of feel good chemicals. They also give you your very own bliss archive.  Those memories are stored away and always available to you.  When you think about those past joyful events your brain also produces feel good chemicals.  So a moment of bliss is actually forever, filed for access whenever you want to re-create that feeling of joy, gladness and happiness.

What moments of bliss have you enjoyed this week?  What archive moments of bliss can you re-create today?

Perfect 10

Well the nice people at the NECC have changed their course evaluation forms.  When asked how likely they were to reccommend the course to a friend I scored straight 10s today.  This brought their whole week's averages soaring up so its a great end to the week for them.  I'm also particuarly pleased as its been a very busy week and I was very tired today,

As trainers we get external verification almost every time we do any work.  Its great to have all those positive strokes but do we really need them?  I guess we all need to be told that we are doing a good job even when we already know.  I can feel when things are going right so although I like the eval forms I really want them so that the client can see that it all went really well, cos they are not usually in the room.

How do you know if things are going well?  What do you feel?  What do you hear?  What do you see?  If you can capture that then you'll need less external verification and can plan to be your own best supporter, giving yourself positive feedback whenever necessary.  What did you do well today?

Welsh Rarebits

On the train yesterday I encountered a group of women heading to Edinburgh.  They were "girls on tour" with their sequinned red dragon T shirts and bottles of coke laced with vodka.  They had ended up in the "quiet coach" and upset people with their high spirits, good humour and loud jokes and laughter.  They were enjoying themselves, having a great time.  They had abandoned husbands, children, work and responsibilities to let their hair down, relax and get away for the weekend.

Although I have to admit that it was a lot more peaceful when they moved to the next carriage, I admire them for their attitude.  In the face of disapproval they were just being themselves, not modulating their behaviour, moulding it into what everyone else expected from a group of women probably aged from 30 to their late 40s.  It was very refreshing to see.  Yes I sympathise with the passengers who wanted a quiet journey, but hey, it was Friday afternoon, the country was at a standstill becaue of the weather - its OK to have some fun sometimes.

And how different would people's reactions have been if it had been a group of men?  When I eventually got off the train I walked down the platform to find their carriage and held up a written note to the window that read "Have a great time!  Enjoy!".  Go girls!

When did you last let your hair down, abandon all inhibitions and let go?  What would happen if you did?

Proud to be Australian

The BBC announced this morning that the difference between the minimum temperature in the UK and the maximum temperature in Sydney was around 60 degrees.  Thats an amazing fact.  They then interviewed a number of Australians, asking them if they wanted to swap their heatwave for the snowy environment in the UK.  Not surprisingly they all said no.  One said "I'm proud to be Australian and I love my country.  I wouldn't swap it for anywhere".

I thought how refreshing it was to hear someone express that sort of pride.  I've very rarely heard anyone say that about Britain.  Somehow its become unfashionable to express pride, and not just pride in your country either.  How unusual is it for you to express pride in anything - your work, your children, your successes, your home or garden or creative projects, your friends or the support that they give you.

So just for a minute think of what you're proud of.  I'm proud of what I've achieved with my work - bringing opportunites for development to so many women.  I'm also proud of my course particpants for the many amazing things that they go on to achieve.  I'm proud of all my climbing and skiing friends who keep in touch when often I can't get out and join them because of work pressures.  I'm proud of taking the circulation of my newsletter to over 700 and I'm proud of my independance.

What are you proud of?  What does that tell you about yourself?  Who will you tell about that pride tomorrow? 

Trimming psychology

Today I was having my hair cut. My hairdresser at Toni & Guy Carlisle is Chinese so we were talking about the Chinese New Year. This fell on Monday and many people will be celebrating over the weekend. I asked him if he would be celebrating the Chinese New Year. He said that he didn't need it to be New Year to have a reason to celebrate. He'll be getting a bottle of wine out anyway.

I absolutely approve of that attitude. Why do we always need to wait for a "Special Occasion" to celebrate? How do you feel when you celebrate? You feel great, happy, euphoric, up, buzzing. Why would you want to wait to feel like that? Wouldn't it be great to feel like that every day?

So I recommend that you celebrate every day, just like my hairdresser. At the end of the day work out what went well today. What are your achievements? What did you do well? What did people thank you for? What should you give yourself a pat on the back for? It doesn't need to be anything major, even just getting through the day can be an achievement.

Once you've done that work out what the celebration will be. It doesn't have to be alcoholic!! Maybe its just allowing yourself an extra ten minutes in bed tomorrow, or eating that extra special yoghurt you've been saving, or phoning a friend you've not spoken to for ages.

The more you celebrate the more positive you'll become, the more positive you are the more success you'll attract and the more you'll have to celebrate. It's a virtuous circle. What are you celebrating today?

Where have you come from?

I've just reached my company financial year end. I was discussing this with a friend on Sunday. We have had a slight drop in overall income this year for a variety of reasons. None of these are to do with the credit crunch. However, looking forward to next year I am optimistic. We already have as much work scheduled for next year as we have done this year. That means that whatever new work I secure from here on is an addition to our bottom line, giving a greater income for next year. That's really good news to have just before xmas. But even better, my friend asked how that compared to last year. Well that's the critical thing. Looking back to December 2007, we didn't have the same level of work already programmed in for 2008. So that means that we are already ahead year on year. And that feels even better. I hadn't really taken that in until my friend asked that question. Sometimes we can only see how far we have come by looking back and seeing where we have come from. We often don't do that cos life is always moving forwards, we look to the future, we plan and set goals. So actually analysing where we were a year ago, a few months ago or even a week ago allows us to see how far we have progressed up our success ladder. And of course our success is not just measured financially but also in how we feel, how well our projects are progressing, how well our relationships are going and a million other measures that are meaningful to you. So how far have you come this year? Where were you a year ago? Where do you plan to be in a year's time?

Be like a child for a while

I've had friends staying over the weekend and its been great fun. We were up late chatting last night and I went outside to check on the weather. It was snowing which I find SO exciting. So I summoned everyone else to come and look. We were like a bunch of kids, wondering what it would be like tomorrow, would there be enough for me to get my skis out, for the boys to make a snowman, what would the roads be like, and how long would it last. Its really refreshing to get back to those pure feelings of excitement, wonder, joy and sheer enjoyment that we had when we were young. As adults all too often we are far too grown up. We think it's not seemly to whoop with joy and leap about excitedly, to rush outside into the snow without a coat, to just laugh and giggle sometimes for no reason at all. We spend too much time being responsible, sensible, organised and often just plain boring. So I say in the run up to the busy holiday season its time to rediscover the things that give you a child-like delight and to simply enjoy those moments when you are doing these things. Life is far too short to be sensible all the time. Loose a whole load of years for half an hour. What made you squeal with joy when you were 7 and 8? Go out and do that now!!!

The Land Girls

There was a delightful piece on the radio the other night about the Land Girls.  These were the women who took over the men's jobs in the countryside during the second world war.  They worked in agriculture and forestry helping to keep the country fed.  They received no recognition in the way that the soldiers did.

Now, 60 years on, their contribution has been recognised with the issue of special badges.  One of them said that it may be late but its great that their contribution is now shown to be appreciated.

This got me thinking about the expression "its never too late to say you are sorry".  Actually its also never too late to say "Thanks!".  So often in life we don't actually show our appreciation at the time that we receive that good advice, or support or a helping hand.  Maybe we were in no fit state to do it, or couldn't find the words or the moment wasn't right.  Whatever, its never too late.

So my weekend challenge to you is - Who have you not thanked adequately for some help, support, advice, understanding or just for being there or being themelves?  How can you show them that appreciation, even if the actual deed was many weeks, months or or even years ago?  How will you feel when you have done that?

Remember that what goes around comes around.  If you have several people to thank then there are probably several people out there who want to thank you.

Pick up that pen now and just start writing!

Barcode celebrations

I was in John Lewis today buying some habadashery.  Sorry quick aside here - just to say what a wonderful word habadashery is. It rolls off the tongue and for me evokes an aladdins cave of sewing bits and bobs.

Anyway - as I was saying....I was in John Lewsi today and the scanning machine couldn't read the bar code on some reels of thread.  Before you ask - it was bright orange thread for some of the silk I brought back from India last year.  The assistant tried several times to get it to scan. Then the only choice is to type in the number. She couldn't see the number cos it was in really small print.  She was wearing glasses and was undoubtably younger than me. I could read the print without too much difficulty.  That made me feel good.  Not at someone else's expense. just that even though I was older (and do not wear glasses) my sight isn't as bad as I might have thought it was.

Someone told me the other day that she's been noticing her body decaying since she was 30. Well if mine has been falling apart since then its worth celebrating being able to see the tiny bar codes on the reels of thread, I think!

What else gave you cause to celebrate today?  What are you going to do for that celebration?

The Casting Couch

Are you a star waiting to be discovered? Maybe you are the next departmental head, the next head honcho, the person most deserving of the employee of the month award, the best thing that ever happend to your team.  You are beavering away and one day someone will notice. Then you'll get promoted, win those awards, get the big pay rise.

How long are you going to wait to be discovered?  How long have you been waiting already?  Who else has crept past you whilst you were sitting there grimly toiling on?  When will you get pay back?

Well I've got news for you.  The world doesn't work like that. Oscars are not won by people sitting on their bums glowing in last year's reflected glory.  Rarely will recognition descend on you gracefully with gossamer wings. More often you are going to have to go out and demand it. These days we all have so  much competing for our attention that someone sitting just outside the top floor office doing a good job is going to be overlooked.  You've got to be your own PR machine.  When you get good results make sure you tell people, lots of people.  If you get a letter from a satisfied customer or internal contact then stick it on the wall and tell people, lots of people.  If there is some project or coveted job that you want then tell people, lots of people.  When you get any opportunity to get up and speak in front of a meeting or a confernce then do it.  The bigger the audience the better. Then tell people what you did, lots of people.

Maybe you are starting to get my drift here. We will not get to the corner office by sitting quietly working away waiting to be discovered by a talent scout. You are good at what you do so tell people, lots of people, in any way that you can.

Who can you tell today?  How will you tell them?  What will you tell them?

HR Zone

Hey people are starting to notice that older workers are the key to the future economic success of the country.  Read the article on HR Zone and see my comment at the bottom.

Shout about it

What do you do when something exciting is happening or you have achieved something?  Do you just sit there feeling all smug or do you shout about it?  Well I've got news for you - sharing good news really helps the world go round, it helps keep the people around you positive and also, critically, it helps to keep you positive.  The more you tell people about your exciting event or success the more you are reinforcing those positive pathways that brought you there.  Sharing good news will lift any conversation and energise your communication.

At the beginning of most of my workshops I ask people to report on their recent successes. These need not be great earth shattering events, just minor achievements or nuggets of good news. The more you focus on the positive the more your mind will help you do that.

So I am shouting about my trip to India next week because for me its very exciting. Heading off to Kashmir to deliver two Springboard workshops is exactly the sort of really important work that I want to be doing. You can read all about it in the News and Star (Carlisle's daily paper) and of course I'll be writing here about the trip when ever I can get on the web.

What do you have to shout about today?  What's exciting in your life?  Who are you going to tell about your latest successes?  Write a comment to this posting to share your success with all our readers.

Keep smiling

In Japan they have a problem with an aging population that is even more acute than ours.  It has more than four times as many centenarians.  One women who was 100 in April was interviewed for a report in yesterday's Independent.  She puts her longevity down to having a happy-go-lucky nature.  She is cheerful most of the time and even if she is worried about something she gets a good night's sleep.  That, coupled with the healthy Japanese diet that is antioxidant rich, contains little animal fat and lots of soya, vegetables and seafood has resulted in her outliving her son, who died of cancer 6 years ago.

So the message from Asia is clear - be happy, eat healthy, live longer and fitter.

So what are you going to do today to bring a smile to your face? What are you doing to make your diet healthier to support you as you get older?  What are you planning for your 80th, 90th, 100th birthdays?

Harness your passion

Today I was listening to a thought for the day on BBC Radio Cumbria where someone's passion has led them to new opportunities.  And I wondered how many of us really allow that passion that we have (whatever it is for) to drive us along. Often we will stifle it because its not appropriate, there isn't time, someone else thinks its silly etc etc

Well if you keep doing that then you will  never get into that state of excitement that sweeps all before it, that state where you believe that nothing could possibly go wrong, that state that allows you to conquer all and achieve anything that you set your mind to.  These things are driven by passion. If you allow your passion to show through then you will not need to motivate yoursef to get up every day, you will find your motivation rises easily from within.  And that positive feeling will transfer to other areas of your life as well, making everything much rosier.

So go on indulge your passion today!

Every second counts

At the moment I'n reading a book about a back country ranger in one of the US national parks.  In the book there is a quote from Walt Whitman who wrote

To me, every hour of the day and night is an unspeakable perfect miracle

Now he was talking about being surrounded by the countryside in the national park in the 1930s but I think that this applies equally to us today.  The few seconds that you have just spent reading this are now lost to you and will never be regained.  Every minute of every day is a fresh opportunity.  Seize each one as it comes your way and appreciate each for what you can gain from it, give to it or use it for.  Make a positive decision to spend each minute wisely.

And if spending the minute wisely to you means being absorbed by the sound of your child laughing, losing yourself in your ideas for the future or just feeling the sun or wind on your face then thats fine.  In another minute those things will be history and new opportunities will present themselves.  In the next minute you might add up your weekly spending, read a life changing job advert or ask your boss for a pay rise.

Don't be a victim of the passing time.  Choose wisely and positively how to spend those perfect miracle moments.

Seabiscuit

Last night, tired and jetlagged, I cut the work and watched a dvd. It was called Seabiscuit - about a famous US racehorse.  Its a fabulous story about achievement and should probably come with a half tissue box warning!  You can read  more about him here http://www.seabiscuitonline.com/index1.htm

One of the great messages of the film was that this little horse just kept winning against the bigger guys cos he just didn't think of himself as small. In reality he was only a small pony and with the right techniques and encouragement he was winning races against much bigger thoroughbreds.

It made me think about how small we all often think we are.  The smallest cog in a great wheel, the lowliest person in your team, the one making the smallest contribution to anything. And if that is the way that we continue to think about ourselves then that is the way that we'll end up. I could think about myself as just a freelance trainer but I know that what I do amounts to much more than that. What I do makes a big difference to people's lives so I am not JUST a trainer.

Maybe you are saying to yourself "But I am ONLY...."  " I am JUST...." Listen to your own language. If you are talking yourself down why would you expect anyone else to give you space on this planet. Its time to stop talking small and start thinking bigger.  About your life, your career, your hopes and aspirations.  You can be like Seabiscuit and take on the big guys and win.

Fireworks!!

I was sitting in my hotel room late last night and saw flashes outside the window. I thought it was today's thunderstorm with all the associated lightning.  However it wasn't. It was fireworks across the street at the Universal Studios theme park. And then I remembered that I'd seen them the night before as well.

I love fireworks. For me they really make a day special. And here in Orlando they are making every day special for all the tourists.  I love every day to be special. And of course you don't have to be on holiday to achieve that. If we make every day special then we feel much better about ourselves, we make better decisions and life is generally much better. And why not! That's what I say.

It may only be Wednesday but why not break out the doughnuts at work already?  You may not be on holiday but why not allow yourself to eat ice cream?  You may have a special frock that you hardly ever wear, get it out and wear it for work tomnorrow. If you normally only read the paper at the weekend, buy it today.

So what are going to do to make today special? For yourself and also for those around you.

Eat strawberries every day!

I do, well pretty much every day.  Today I had strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, plums, grapes and pear for breakfast.  Its sometimes a bit of a challenge in January but you can usually find strawberries in the shops year round. I do it because I really like them, they are really healthy to eat and I do not believe that this sort of luxury should be kept only for Wimbledon week.  So many times you might find yourself yearning for that little luxury item or activity only to dismiss it as only being for Sundays, not allowed to have it if you haven't been working hard, can't do it today cos the money was allocated to buy toilet roll.

I say stuff all of that. Allow yourself some degree of luxury regularly and you will find yourself feeling great. It will really boost your self esteem. It doesn't matter if its buying expensive soap every now and again, picking the supermarket "finest" label this week instead of the "everyday", swapping your newspaper for a magazine or eating strawberries every day.  It may cost you nothing if your luxury is a walk in the fresh air admiring a view.  Whatever it is give yourself permission to regularly pamper yourself just that little bit and you'll feel fantastic.

After all if your best friend came for breakfast you'd want to give them strawberries, so why treat yourself less well than you do your friends. Make every day special and there is so much more to live for.

An exciting new beginning

So here I am at last. I am so excited by what is happening in my life and work that I need to share it all with you more than I can with just my newsletter Positive Energy.  That will continue to go out every month with positive hints and tips to keep you moving forward positvely (got to finish this month's as soon as I have done this posting, sorry Sarah and Chantal).  There is more happening every day that is exciting and positive that can't wait a month to be shared.  Here I'll be telling you positive stories from my life, thoughts that I have had that might help you and anything else that drifts into my creative brain late at night or early in the morning.