BlogPositive

What makes you proud?

Shy Keenan and Sara Payne have won Women of the Year 2008. They have campaigned to get Sarah's Law onto the statute books. This law allows parents to know if a paedophile is in the area. The campaign started after Sarah Payne, Sara's 8 year old daughter, was abducted and killed in 2000 by a known paedophile.

There is a link to their acceptance speech here

I was struck by one thing that Sara said. "Do one thing every day that makes you proud and little by little we can change the world". It's a great maxim to live by. Do one thing every day to make you proud. How many of us live lives of mediocrity? We tread water through life, just getting by. We do the minimum required to get through. We cut corners and do a half baked job.

Does living like that every day make you proud? I don't think so. How different would things be if you did them in a way that made you proud? What would that be like? How much better would your life be? How much better would life be for your family and friends? How much happier would you be?

What did you do today that made you proud? What will life be like tomorrow with that feeling?

Whats making your life good?

I was travelling home from Birmingham last night and listening to the radio. There was a commercial radio station on. I have no idea where I was - somewhere on the M6 - my favourite place you'd think, from the amount of time I spend there.

Anyway on the radio there was an advert for LG. They make electrical stuff and their strap line is life's good with LG. There advert was about what's making you life good at the moment. I thought what a good question that was. How would you feel is you asked yourself that question more often?

So instead of dwelling on what is bad spend more time remembering what is good. By doing that you'll feel generally happier and more positive. You'll also be more grateful even for the small things that are good. So instead of whinging and worrying about the cost of food going up, remember that last week you found a chocolate bar the pocket of a jacket you haven't used for a while. Instead of moaning about the fact that the buses never come on time and they are always full, be glad that you've recently found a short cut that means you can get to the office 2 minutes faster. Instead of thinking about the great piles of work on your desk remember that you've got a stack of holiday brochures on the coffee table at home, just waiting for you to browse this evening.

Go for it - you know that you can ask these useful questions. What's making your life good today?

Did you see me on the telly?

Yes today - just 15 seconds of fame on the BBC News channel! At the same time I was also interviewed by local radio.

I was a "physiotherapy patient" commenting on the new proposal that we can now self-refer to an NHS physio. I think that there are probably about another several million others who could have done that, but it was me that was sitting there on camera.

I think self referral is a great idea if it means we can all get our ailments fixed up more quickly. There is good evidence that the sooner you start physio the better the longer term outcome of things like back pain or other musculo-skeletal problems. However perhaps more important, is that it encourages more of us to take personal responsibility for our own health instead of waiting to be fixed by someone else. Now that's a subject close to my heart.

Now I haven't done anything exceptional to get this opportunity. Except, actually, - I did. What I did was take the opportunity to speak out about something that's important to me, something that I care about, by simply commenting on an online news story. So how many of us have had that opportunity and have thought "well my opinion isn't worth very much". Well that's a self fulfilling prophecy if ever I heard one. If you care about something then what you have to say about it is worth hearing. And if you voice those opinions with confidence then look where it can take you.

So when did you last put your hand in the air and say "Yes, I'd like to comment on that.". When were you last moved to respond to or comment on a news item that you saw or heard somewhere, in the national or local media or online for example? What is important to you? What do you stand for? Are you the grey person in the corner who has no opinions? Stand up and be counted!

International Polar Year

I was reading a report today about an expedition to Antarctica. They are investigating a mountain range that lies in the middle of the ice sheet. These are mountains that no-one has ever seen because they are buried under 4km of ice. It's a big project set up for International Polar Year, involving collaboration and co-operation between many disciplines and nations.

As I was reading the report I found myself feeling a bit left out that I wasn't a polar scientist and wouldn't get to travel to the poles or do anything for International Polar Year. I wanted to feel more included. Then I had a brainwave. Of course we can all do something for International Polar Year. There is no doubt at all that the polar ice is becoming thinner due to global warming. The connection with man's activities is incontestable. So we all need to reduce our use of resources. That's about doing more recycling, watching your fuel consumption, turning the thermostat down, reusing rather than throwing away, finding smart ways to reduce your impact on the planet and its natural environment.

By doing your own little personal bit in this way you are contributing to International Polar Year. By doing this we can help to make sure that there is still some ice for the polar scientists to investigate the next time we have an International Polar Year. There is always a way to contribute to national and global causes. We just need to look for ways to make them personal and relevant to us. I'll look out for more in the future and tell you how I'm getting involved with them at a personal level.

Wild weather

I've been watching the weather get wilder and wilder today. It was forecast for the wind to get up later in the afternoon and they weren't wrong. At about 4pm I drove round to Walltown Quarry where I can quickly get up onto the escarpment of whin sill that much of Hadrian's Wall is built on. When I left the car it was drizzling but it wasn't long before the rain was coming down in sheets with a force 5 or 6 gale behind it. It was a challenge walking in a straight line side on to the wind or walking at the speed I wanted to with the wind behind me.

I was absolutely loving it though. I find wild, stormy weather like that really exciting. I love thunderstorms and I'm currently now waiting for it to snow. This may be a long wait though as I don't expect it to happen until February probably!

But there have been other times when I've reacted very differently to this weather. Its all about attitude. Today I'd dipped out of going to the gym with a friend as I've been a bit snuffly so I decided on a walk instead. I was watching the weather all day and feeling really excited by the wind. So when I finally got out there I had a great time. Yet if I've been on top of a mountain or waiting for a train in similar conditions then I may have found it harder to be so positive. However as long as I have the right kit and I'm not about to be blown off the edge then its all just about the experience. In any situation we all need to remember that the difference between enjoyment and endurance is often just about attitude.

What have you enjoyed today? What have you not enjoyed? What was the difference in your attitude to both of these?

Never say never

Its not over until the fat lady sings, as they say about opera. I have just contacted a long-ago beau from university days. I discovered him on that site that lists friends from everywhere. He's a lovely guy. Well I certainly thought so 20 years ago and from his messages I don't think he's changed (god id it really that long - no actually nearer 30 -aarrggh). Anyway I discovered that he has recently separated from his wife. So there is some chance I suppose that we could get together. Of course there are loads of provisos in that. However it really illustrates the fact that you actually should never say never.

I never imagined that I might rediscover someone from my past. Even though a relationship break-up is always hard, you just never know what might happen in a few years time. And the same is true of lots of things that might disappoint you, where you might feel that you've failed or may not get another chance. Don't ever write it off. That next chance could be just around the corner.

So if you have failed to get the job of your dreams, sing up that top client, get approval for your pet project or just missed the goal with a great shot, never forget that success is always just around the corner. You just have to believe that it is possible, despite the current evidence, and keep going. Because the universe changes and re-orders itself every second, people change over time within that new order and that means that unexpected things can collide again.

So remember - its never time to say never about anything in your life until you are carried away in a box, then the fat lady has truly bellowed!

The climbing wall

I've been to the climbing wall today. This is the first time in ages so I was not expecting great things about my performance. I did enjoy being back moving around on the wall though. There's a quality of freedom that goes with moving around in a more 3D way than you would do just walking along the street. I'd recommend it to anyone and you don't actually need to be very fit just to give it a go.

We warmed up on some slabby stuff and then moved onto some harder things. I was surprised to still be able to handle 6A reasonably well. (This is a pretty hard climbing grade that I probably couldn't do outside on real rock). I hadn't really expected that. I have noticed this before though. You reach a certain level of performance in something and then stop doing it for a while. When you go back you somehow seem to have improved your performance rather than it dropping off as far as you might have expected. I've seen this with lots of things. Maybe it's the mental rehearsal that you've done, thinking about it whilst you weren't doing it. Or maybe it's the at your muscle memory is better than you'd thought.

Its well worth bearing in mind. I hear lots of people telling me that "Well I used to be good at that but it would take me a long time to be that good again". Well in fact that is not always true. Feeling like that can put you off giving things a go, just trying out something that you used to do before - whatever it is and whatever part of your life it is in. So I suggest that if you've had a big gap just give ti a try and see how it feels - I'm going back to the climbing wall again next week if I have time - better get back to work then...

Ministry for Happiness

I was just reading a piece on the BBC about whether or not the government should focus on happiness rather than wealth. Should we be focusing on happiness in the middle of an apparent economic crisis? How do you measure or define happiness? Does the same thing make different people happy? Margaret Hodge, former culture minister defined it thus

"The common understanding across government is that wellbeing is a positive physical, social and mental state; it is not just the absence of pain, discomfort and incapacity. It requires that basic needs are met, that individuals have a sense of purpose, that they feel able to achieve important personal goals and participate in society. It is enhanced by conditions that include supportive personal relationships, strong and inclusive communities, good health, financial and personal security, rewarding employment, and a healthy and attractive environment."

So that's a good place to start. However I bet that many of us have never really thought about what happiness means to us, about what really makes us happy. In fact we often only really notice things that make us happy by their absence. In the words of the song "You don't know what you've got until it's gone". And sometimes it's then too late to do anything about it.

So its time to start your own happiness monitor. Every day when you get up in the morning ask yourself one of these questions:

* "What am I going to do to be happy today?"

* "What am I doing today to be happy?"

* "How am I going to be happy today?"

* "How outrageously happy am I going to be today?"

* "How am I keeping my happiness quotient high today?"

Then when you go to bed ask yourself

* "What will I do tomorrow to keep my happiness high?"

* "What can I keep doing to make me happy?"

* "How will I be happier tomorrow?"

Room 256

Just another week in training……Several nightmare train journeys over several days, closed stations, delays and cancellations, connections not held.  Responsible companies Wales and West, First Great Western, Southern in this instance, they are all pretty much as bad as each other.  Sleepless nights, noisy places, uncomfortable beds.  Getting up to do it all again tomorrow. 

But I have to say that Wednesday night was probably my worst experience of hotel customer care, ever.  A premier hotel group.  Country house hotel, extensive grounds, conference centre.   Their website tells me

"Professionalism, first-class customer service and attention to detail are the hallmarks of our properties and nothing is too much trouble for our team of dedicated and attentive staff. "

I arrive in a very hot room, about 30 degrees, radiator off, portable air con (ineffective).  This is Southern England in October and I’m in a room warmer than the one I had in Darwin three weeks ago, what is going on, exactly. 

There is no way that I can sleep in that temperature and I request a different room.  Hotel full.  I persuade the manager to visit the room.  He is surprised at the heat and suggests that it might be from….wait for it….”The October sun heating up the brickwork”!! ……bearing in mind it was now 10pm and frosty outside.  The best alternative he could offer was keeping my window open – all night, on the ground floor!  He promises to “sort something out with the bill”.  At this point I give up, if I’d had my car I would have decamped to somewhere else.

I sleep very little, kept awake not just by the heat but also by the loud rumbling from huge fans underneath the room.  I discover that my room is above the hotel main heating or cooling plant room.  Its chucking out loads of heat to the outside through a 6 foot high vent in the wall, as well as upwards into my room.  In the morning they try to charge me full price - £90.  I tell them I will pay only £30 after my appalling night.  They then say - Oh but it doest't matter as the cost is going back to the company so you won't have to pay it anyway.  I tell them that is even worse, making someone else pay for service that has not actually been delivered.  I say I will pay £30 and that’s what I pay.

 But my question is…….

That overheated room was a known problem as evidenced by the air con machine.  Its not an accident.  Its been too hot in that room since the wing was built.  So why wasn’t I told about it at check-in?  Why was it apparently a surprise to the manager?  What sort of establishment knows its accommodation that well?  What sort of manager forgets to “sort out” the bill?  Would you stay there again?  I feel like a patsy – I can almost hear the hotel staff laughing behind their hands – yes 256, good room, it’s a chilly night.  And I won’t even start to tell you about the breakfast……

So tonight I arrive at my next hotel, in a different town, booked entirely independently, believing that it must be better.  And, hooray, I am given a suite, a separate lounge, comfy sofa, two toilets, flat screen telly, coffee table, king size bed, two entrances.  So its great to show that when you have hit rock bottom it can get better.  Keep believing it!  It can happen to you!  But I am never going back to the other place.  And a letter to their customer care director will follow shortly.  But it may be a lost cause.

1001 nights

I just looked in my Outlook today and it says that I have 1001 unread emails. Actually that's not as bad as it sounds, just to calm those of you who are even now striking me off their list of correspondents. As I'm often away I look at my mail in a web viewer and download it later. That means that I have already read a lot of messages so don't read them again when I download them into Outlook. Phew got out of that one..

But I was thinking that 1001 is a number that's memorable to me - mainly from 1001 Arabian Nights. That's deeply embedded in my childhood memories. As are many other things - such as needing Heinz Tomato Soup on cold and snowy days, always eating pancakes with squeezed orange juice and saying "good morning Mr Magpie" to random magpies. A lot of things that we are exposed to as kids stay with us for life. Health warning for parents there, I think.

So, there are probably lots of things that you do and ways that you think that have been with you for 20, 30, 40 or even 50 or more years. Are these habits, these patterns of behaviour and thinking, helpful to you? Are they positive ways to react to the world? They can be the things that trip you up when you least expect it. If they aren't helpful then you can make a positive decision to change them. Its not going to happen overnight, as they are deeply ingrained. However you can start to affect your reactions and thoughts. And please do give yourself some slack - if you tip back over and relapse then don't beat yourself up. Slow and steady, small steps are what changes lifetime patterns. You can do it and feel the benefits. Start now.

Send in the SWAT team

Some of you may remember the police drama on TV about their Special Weapons and Tactics team. Well, as individuals, we also have our own special weapons and tactics.

So some day when you've had a bad day just take a minute to think about yours. These are the things that make you special. These are the special skills that you bring to any situation. Maybe you make the best chilli this side of the Atlantic or can mix your partner's favourite cocktail. Perhaps you have the knack of always getting your friend's beat up old car started, or you can charm noisy dogs to stop barking or are always the one who knows about the latest new films.

What are the things that people rely on you for? These are the things you are also remembered for. They are probably a unique combination of assets that make you a great success as a parent, friend, colleague or at hobbies or pastimes. Write them down. Even when you've had a bad day those things are still true about you. What can you do to make more of them and to give yourself the appreciation you deserve?

You are unique and uniquely special. Never forget that.

Natural Highs

I’ve been at a sales conference today and we were talking about having fun at work.  Sadly lots of us don’t do that.  There are also very many people who don’t have fun out of work either.  Having fun gives us a high and this makes the world a better place.  You can’t feel negative after a good laugh.  So my challenge to you today is to find a way to have fun today!  Yes – today – don’t put off having fun til tomorrow.  To get you started here is a no-cost list of 50 ways to get a natural high, sent from my friend Dot

    1.    Falling in love, even if its only for half an hour with your bus driver.    
    2.    Laughing so hard your cheeks hurt.
    3.    A hot powerful shower.
    4.    No queues at the supermarket checkout.
    5.    A special glance from a special person.
    6.    Getting real mail rather than email.
    7.    Driving along a great whee road.
    8.    Hearing your favourite song when you are out doing essential boring shopping.
    9.    Lying in bed listening to the rain or wind outside.
    10.  Hot towels grabbed off the radiator.
    11.  Hot chocolate laced with whisky.
    12.  A hot scented bubble bath.
    13.  Giggling.
    14.  A good conversation.
    15.  The beach.
    16.  Finding a £10 note in your coat from last winter.
    17.  Laughing at yourself.
    18.  Looking into their eyes and knowing they love you.
    19.  Midnight phone calls or instant messaging that lasts for hours.
    20.  Running through sprinklers.
    21.  Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
    22.  Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
    23.  Laughing at an inside joke with friends or colleagues.
    24.  Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
    25.  Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
    26.  Your first kiss with a new date.
    27.  Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
    28.  Playing with your kids or dogs.
    29.  Having someone stroke your hair.
    30.  Sweet dreams.
    31.  Hot Ribena.
    32.  Trips out with friends.
    33.  Swinging on swings in the park.
    34.  Making eye contact with a gorgeous stranger.
    35.  Making your favourite food.
    36.  Eating your friends favourite home made cakes.
    37.  Holding hands with someone you care about.
    38.  Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
    39.  Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
    40.  Watching the beautiful sunrise or sun set.
    41.  Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another day whatever the weather.
    42.  Knowing that somebody misses you.
    43.  Getting a hug from someone you care about.
    44.  Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
    45.  Losing something and finding something else when you are looking for it.
    46.  Seeing the positive results of something that you made happen.
    47.  Getting postcards from friends on holiday.
    48.  Mastering a new skill.
    49.  The first frosts.
    50.  The first snowdrops.

Now make your own list.

What gives you a natural high?