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Nodding pansies

I have boxes of pansies on my outside windowsill. I love them as they are so colourful and last through most of the winter. All of my windows face South so if there is any sun at all the flowers are soon turning their faces to it. Today I went out and turned them all through 180 degrees. Growing towards the sun makes them grow more on one side than the other and they become lop-sided, so its good to turn them occasionally.

I guess that if they could speak the plants would all be moaning that they had put loads of effort into casting out in one direction and now had to rethink. Well by doing this it actually makes the whole plant stronger, rather than having it straggling over just one side of the container.

This is a bit like our journey through life really. Its really good for us to look around in lots of different directions. Keep our options open, get support from all sorts of different areas. Ok its great to focus on growing in an upwards direction and have our goals clear in our minds. However we need to investigate all possible aspects to help us keep moving forwards. This makes us more flexible so that when the sun is suddenly on the other side and we have to move in a completely opposite direction we an do it easily. If you have never had to adapt then you'll find it difficult. If you are used to having the sun moved around regularly then you'll be a much stronger and resilient person.

How are you following your sun today? What are you doing tomorrow to continue to find the sun wherever it is?

Being perfect

I was having a coaching conversation with a client this morning and we were talking about being perfect. She was saying that it was good that there was still more to do to get there. She still had some development targets to work towards.

I was reflecting on what it must be like to be perfect. I decided that its probably fine but its only a momentary thing.

Imagine that you were the perfect worker at your job. You could do all your tasks perfectly, you boss was perfect and your colleagues were perfect too. OK, apart from the fact this is cloud cuckoo land - we have to recognise that this is only a fleeting thing. You can go on being perfect forever. However that's not actually the same thing every day because moment by moment the world around us is changing. That means that our response to it needs to change if we are to continue to be perfect. The same is true of relationships. You might find the perfect lover, perfect friend or companion. However we all change over time and what was perfect today may not work for you tomorrow.

So I say instead of striving to be perfect we should strive to be adaptable, flexible and resourceful. When the world changes, being able to react faster and with a greater degree of options than the person sitting next to you will always give you an advantage.

How are you demonstrating your resourcefulness today?

Get a new perspective

I went out walking this week with the 13 year old daughter of a friend. We walked up one of the Lakeland fells on a mainly rainy day. It was very interesting for me as she has done very little hill walking so came to it with a completely fresh perspective. She was asking all sorts of interesting questions about things that I either don't notice any more or that never occur to me. This allowed me to also look at things differently and gain a greater understanding of how this activity must appear to someone who hasn't done it before.

So getting someone involved in what you are doing, whatever that is, who hasn't done it before will give you a new perspective on it. This will enable you to look at it differently and maybe do it differently in the future. So whether its getting someone from a partner department to come and work with you for a day or getting a friend to do you fitness workout with you, I'd recommend getting a new perspective with someone else.

It also works the other way of course. By doing something that you usually do with someone new you also get new ideas and learning. So you could go to your friend's favourite bar rather than yours, go shopping for food with someone you don't know very well, or offer to go and shadow someone doing a similar job somewhere else. You'll learn loads both about how you do things and how you can do things differently.

How will you get a new perspective today? What will you do with that new learning?

Whats on your mind?

I've been at home a few days now with deadline work and research to do. However the deadline work hasn't been getting done because the research is on my mind.

You know how it is when you are thinking about something that you are going to do, something that will be happening or something that you feel you should do or want to do. Maybe you are actually worrying about something rather than just thinking about it. All this just occupies space in your head. Its literally on top of your mind, weighing you down. This means that all of the other processes going on in your brain are running slower. Its like running several programmes at once on your computer at once, there often isn't enough processor capacity or memory space for them all to run effectively.

So if you have something "on your mind" you need to get it off your mind.

The best way to do that is to take some action. You could actually get on and do that thing that you are thinking about, that would certainly take it off your mind and be a positive step. You could discuss it with someone else, write about it or spend some time meditating on the subject. Or you could simply decide to give yourself the space to think about it at another time so that you can allow yourself to get on with all the other things that are demanding your attention. Or you could tell yourself just before you got to sleep that the issue will be resolved when you wake up. Or you could make a list of what you need to do so that when you are ready you can just get on with it.

I decided to do my research and this has helped me to make a decision. Therefore my head space has now been freed up for the deadline work.

What's on your mind today? What will you do to free your mind and tackle your priority tasks?

Being human

I've had a really busy day getting ready to be away for a while. On my trip South I managed to catch up with an old friend on the motorway. He was going North and I was going South but we met in a services for 20 minutes to chat. It's a couple of months since I've seen him. Although we have been talking on the phone it s a whole different thing getting together in the flesh.

There is a lot of talk about virtual working these days. Forming a team with people on the other side of the word. We need to remember that as long as we are humans and not cyborgs then the human to human connection will always be important. This was obvious when I ran a women's programme in Toulouse recently with a global organisation. Some of them met for the first time despite the fact they have been working together for many months. After the programme they said that they felt much more positive about their working relationships simply because they felt that they REALLY knew the other person now.

So if you are experiencing difficulties with a colleague or friend that you haven't seen for a while, or even if you are not, then just get yourself over there. Real people make real relationships. You form a stronger bond face to face than by video or phone.

Who haven't you seen for a while. When will you see them?

Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging

This afternoon I was taken to the pictures by a 13 year old friend! What an indulgence. I so enjoyed it. Haven't cried so much since yesterday (but that's another story) and its all soooooo true to life. All that teenage angst. And the memory of feeling like that. Hey teens - got news for you - its actually doesn't go away, you can feel like that even at my great age (!) and boys are STILL a different species although I am starting to understand little bits about them. Its still a big experiment though and I've come pretty close to the perfect snog - sometimes.

So my advice to everyone is to just go and see it and indulge yourself. Its all harmless fun.

But then what is it all about. In the end it all comes down to just being yourself. That's actually all she needed to do to get the man. Life all goes so much more smoothly when you decide to do that. It can be so much effort when you don't, like swimming against the tide.

What is stopping you from being yourself today? How would you respond to people as truly you - rather than the "you" that you think they want you to be?

Attention!

I have a great friend who can talk the hind leg of a donkey. I have known him forever and he's lovely. He rattles on all day about his business, skiing and what his wife and duaghter are up to. In fact he talks about them more than anything else. Yet he claims they are not very important and he could easily live a single life again.

Well I disagree. You see we all give away what we are actually paying attention to by what comes out of our mouths. You know how when you've just met a new friend and suddenly their name is in every second sentence that you speak. Or you discover a new interesting fact and it seems to be relevant to almost everything that is going on around you.

Well, what we are paying attention to governs how we direct our lives. Thats why its better to listen to what a person talks about than to what they tell you is important. Its all subconscious rather than in our conscious awareness. So what they tell you may be what they THINK is important whereas what they talk when they are NOT thinking about what is important is more likely to be what is really important to them.

What are you talking about today? What do you think is important to you? Now replay your last few conversations and really answer the question.

Stones on the beach

When you are on the beach the sea is constantly shifting the stones. I've been back to beaches on Anglesey where I used to go as a child 30 years ago. I've always believed that the stones eventually turn to sand but this must take absolutely eons because back on Anglesey the stony beaches are still there. Even after 30 years there is no sign of the sand. The beach is still stones and they don't seem any smaller. They have maintained the essence of what they are with their beautiful patterns and rounded shapes, despite the incessant washing of the waves.

I meet some people who won't engage with any of this "personal development stuff". They say that they don't want to change into someone they don't recognise, change themselves into someone different. Life washes over all of us, whether we take control of it or not. Although we'd like it to be calm, with occasional ripples maybe, it is often stormy, with giant waves washing over us. Whatever happens to you the essence of you remains, maybe a bit more rounded or shining brightly with the dampness of the wave-wash.

So what's holding you back from walking towards the waves today? Next time the waves crash over you what resources do you have to pick you up again? Where will the lifeboat come from when the tide rushes in?

Be careful what you ask for

I was chatting with a friend last night about manifesting.  There is a whole host of stuff that you can read about this on the web, lots of books have been written about it and you can go on expensive courses to learn about it and how to do it.

However at its heart its really very simple.  Just identify what you want in life and send that intention out into the universe.

Thats it.  Its just that simple. Its about focusing on what you want.

For example I was visiting Kendal to see a client this week.  Its August, holiday time, the place is generally busy with tourists.  There is a small back lane where I generally park.  There are about 10 car psaces there, no more, and its quite close to the town centre.  So it does quickly get filled on busy days.  So from the moment I started my jounrey I was focusing on there being a space for me at this place.  Thats a very different frame of mind than worrying whether or not there will be a space.

So when I arrived there were in fact two places to park.

I know that you could say htis is coincidence but it happens far too frequently to be coincidence. And you can use manifestation for many different things.  Health, wealth and happiness are only the start of it.  So be careful what you ask for.

What will you ask the universe for today.  What will you focus on that you want?